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Birthday greetings and a Drabble - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Birthday greetings and a Drabble
Lots of birthdays today; too many for marquees, perhaps, as there is a little ficlet too.

Happy birthday to ayinhara, kimbyann, and scarlettgirl.


And there’s a drabble! This isn’t exactly a birthday fic, just me being self-indulgent. I read tinpanalley’s beautiful little Riley/Willow drabble “Not Available”, set out to write something along the same lines as a possible birthday fic for one of the above, but it didn’t quite turn out that way. 100 words. May contain character bashing.


As You Should Have Been


Riley and Sam waved goodbye as the helicopter approached.

“Riley, one last thing,” Willow called, beckoning him towards her.

Riley walked over to the witch. “What is it, Willow?”

“This.” Willow took a shovel from behind her back and delivered a mighty two-handed swing to Riley’s temple. He toppled to the ground, his brains oozing from his shattered skull.

Sam rushed to her husband and gazed in horror at his corpse. “Why, Willow?” she gasped.

“It’s his own fault,” Willow shrugged. “What part of ‘if you hurt her I will beat you to death with a shovel’ didn’t he understand?”

Tags: ,
Current Mood: weird weird
Current Music: Bill Bailey taking the mickey out of Chris de Burgh

53 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
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desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: July 27th, 2005 04:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Brilliant.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 04:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
You were incredibly quick off the mark! I made a couple of html errors in the post, corrected them, went to the entry to check that it was now correct - and you'd already commented!
(Deleted comment)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 04:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
hesadevil From: hesadevil Date: July 27th, 2005 04:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
This definitely deserves a Spike thumbs up icon, but I can't find one, so one of Giles' unconrolable giggles will have to do.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
tinpanalley From: tinpanalley Date: July 27th, 2005 04:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

First of all, thank you so much! And, secondly, whoa...that was fabulous! I mean...awful! *giggles behind hand*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
frimfram From: frimfram Date: July 27th, 2005 04:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Cue raucous laughter - and great disapprobation for your 'character bashing' pun!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! The 'character bashing' pun was inevitable.
makd From: makd Date: July 27th, 2005 05:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Absolutely fantastic! I love it when folks remember their promises!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes, shame on canon Willow for not following through.
quinara From: quinara Date: July 27th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
I saw the word shovel and knew what was coming, and yet I still laughed! That is the sign of a master, I think.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
I thought of making it a spade, or a manual agricultural digging tool, but decided not to bother.
sharelle From: sharelle Date: July 27th, 2005 05:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, that was wonderful! Go Willow!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
elisi From: elisi Date: July 27th, 2005 06:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
::points to icon::
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
scarlettgirl From: scarlettgirl Date: July 27th, 2005 06:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bwah!

I mean....

Poor Riley!

::snicker::

Although I must say the funniest bit was your description - "May contain character bashing" Hee.

Thank you for the birthday wishes and lovely giggle.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! I sometimes enjoy a bit of character bashing.
borrowedwings From: borrowedwings Date: July 27th, 2005 06:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
thank you so much for this-- I have always been somewhat disappointed in Willow for not following through on that promise.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Yes, Willow should have followed through. And told Xander off for his mind-blowingly stupid pro-Riley speech in 'Into the Woods'.
spikesdeb From: spikesdeb Date: July 27th, 2005 08:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
I always loved that comment! And the "a vague disclaimer is nobody's friend" that followed. Thank you for the giggle. Lovely drabble.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! It was a beautiful line, but unfortunately turned out to be an empty promise in canon.
talesofspike From: talesofspike Date: July 27th, 2005 08:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Definitely one of my favourite characters to bash... (Evil grin)!

Will be getting to reading and reviewing as soon as I've scrolled down the rest of my FL to make sure I haven't missed anything.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
sunnyd_lite From: sunnyd_lite Date: July 27th, 2005 08:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Very nice, Willow really DIDN'T follow through on that one, did she. *Giggles*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! She followed through this time; Tiger Woods couldn't have had a better follow-through on the swing.
drakontaskyria From: drakontaskyria Date: July 27th, 2005 09:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Shoveling out some payback

Terrific! That sound you hear is me snorting pizza out my nose - ouch!

Riley, for being a smart soldier, could be awfully thick about some things - and in all fairness, Willow's disclaimer was anything BUT vague.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2005 11:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Shoveling out some payback

Thank you!

Don't worry about the pizza, Xander will eat it before it hits the ground.
53 comments or speak 2 me
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