Speaker-to-Customers (speakr2customrs) wrote,
Speaker-to-Customers
speakr2customrs

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This one's for Sue

A special belated birthday fic for crazydiamondsue; it was a comment on her LJ that set loose the plot bunny, and so it’s her that you can blame for this. A two-and-a-half drabble, 250 words. Rating probably PG. Set during “First Date”, and using dialogue from that episode.


Nancy Boy


“What happened?” Willow asked, as Spike and Buffy brought a bleeding Xander into the house.

“What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me,” Xander explained. He rolled his eyes. “I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay.”

Willow frowned at him. “What?”

“You heard me,” Xander went on. “Just tell me what to do. I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula right now. That's a start, isn't it?"

“Ah, Captain Archer,” Andrew sighed.

“Come on, let's get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here.” Xander seemed determined on this course of action.

“Oh, all right,” Willow agreed reluctantly, and cast a spell.

“Wait, Willow,” Buffy cautioned. “What if Xander just starts attracting male demons?”

“Clem always liked you,” Dawn giggled.

“It would serve you right,” Anya pouted.

“I’d need some stylish new clothes,” Xander mused.

But it was too late for second thoughts. The gang stared in amazement at the transformation. Spike gave a long, low, whistle; Buffy glared at him and slapped him, not very hard. Anya and Dawn laughed until their sides ached. Giles raised his eyes to the ceiling and said “Dear Lord”.



Later Kennedy walked into Willow’s room and froze with shock as she saw her lover wrapped in the embrace of a tall, big-breasted brunette. “Who the hell is this?” she exclaimed.

“Uh, sorry, Ken, but it’s over between us,” Willow told her shame-faced. “This is my new girlfriend, Alexandra Harris.”

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