Sweet Xander's Baadasssss Song
Yeah, it was a pretty nice place, as Hell dimensions went. The company was, well, interesting; he’d never expected to meet Kurt Cobain, for a start. The surroundings were luxurious. The music was astounding. It was all by artistes who had died before their time, of course, but that still meant one hell of a playlist. Everything from Mozart to Kirsty MacColl.
There were TVs all over the place. Of course every now and then some dead rock star would grab one and throw it out of the window and you’d have to find another one. Sure, they were tuned to MTV by default, but Sweet showed him how to tune them in to show a view of what was going on in the world outside.
So, he’d watched Life in Sunnydale. The gang had been pretty broken up about losing him, at least for a little while, but it hadn’t lasted. Funny thing, Spike had seemed as upset as the others; who’d have thought it? Anya had been most upset of all, of course, but Giles had comforted her and, well, that was when another TV set went out of the window; only this time he’d thrown it himself.
Another set went smash when he saw what went on between Spike and the Buffster. What the hell was she thinking? Although, he was kinda attractive, compact yet well muscled, and yeah, Spike had dug himself out of his own grave too, so he could relate to Buffy. Once you got used to it they weren’t too bad a couple. Not like Xander could really complain; sleeping with a demon himself after all, and not for the first time.
Willow and Tara went through a bit of a rocky patch over some spell Will had done on Tara, but Tara couldn’t be too mad at her girl while Willow was so broke up about losing her best friend, so they got over it.
The reason why Dawn had been wearing Sweet’s pendant? She’d stolen it. Teenage rebellion kinda thing, he guessed. She’d been on a slippery slope there, but it seemed like seeing Big Funny Xander carried off to be Sweet’s Queen had snapped her out of it. There but for the grace of God, maybe. She’d owned up, given stuff back, and been forgiven while everyone was all about the Xander Is Gone. Since then she’d turned over a new leaf; no cutting classes, and no stealing.
So, everybody seemed to be doing pretty okay without him. That was kinda comforting, but then again it kinda sucked too. It would have been nice if they’d been big with the weeping and wailing for months, and had maybe built a four hundred and eighty foot pyramid to his memory, or something. Hadn’t happened. Maybe their not having 20,000 Egyptian fellahin at their disposal might have had something to do with the lack of a monument. Alexander Lavelle Harris; gone, not forgotten, but not commemorated either.
Of course he had a throne now. Queen of the Kingdom Below. Sweet didn’t make him wear the dress except on official occasions, and that was something. It was uncomfortable and he knew he looked like crap in it. Although not as bad as he looked in the corset and stockings that Sweet made him wear at bedtime.
Still a demon magnet after all these years but, hey, it had been a lot better when those demons had been girls. Some days, sitting on the throne with extra cushions because his ass was still tender, he wished that in the Bronze that night he’d just kept his goddamn mouth shut.