Speaker-to-Customers (speakr2customrs) wrote,

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Crossover ficlet: Same as the old boss...

Here is a 400-word ficlet (a Qaudrabble?) partly inspired by ffutures’ short story Over-Egging the Cake. Like that, this is a Lord of the Rings crossover but the crossover element is meant to come as a surprise (although it’s a fairly transparent one). Sometimes getting powerful help on your quest really isn’t a good idea… 400 words, PG.

Same as the old boss...

“When he appeared at the Council of Elrond we thought our troubles were over,” Frodo related. “His heat vision did not affect the Ring, alas, but he could fly at incredible speed and could not be harmed by arrows or swords. With his code of devotion to truth and justice he was clearly opposed to Sauron. He seemed the perfect person to take the Ring to the fires of Mount Doom.”

“To me it seemed just a little too good to be true,” said Aragorn, “and I counselled against it. Master Elrond overruled me. I suspect this was because this was a way of destroying the Ring which would not advance my claim to the Throne of Gondor, and thus would postpone my marriage to Arwen, but I may be doing him an injustice.”

“Be that as it may, the decision was made,” Gandalf took up the tale, “and we handed over the Ring to the newcomer. We had no way of knowing that his invulnerability did not extend to the effects of magic.”

“And he succumbed to its lure,” Legolas said. “He threw down Barad-dûr, indeed, but only to raise a new Dark Tower, the ‘Fortress of Solitude’, in its place. A strange structure, of steel and glass and an unknown material named ‘concrete’, but definitely a work of Evil. With Mordor under his control he turned his attention to Gondor. The gates fell before a single blow of his fist and the city was overrun.”

“Next fell Lothlórien,” Gimli said, “and he took the Lady Galadriel as his slave consort. Curse him! For some strange reason, though, he insisted that she change her name to Lady Lothlórien.”

“And when he similarly enslaved Princess Lothíriel of Dol Amroth, he decreed that she was henceforth to be known as Lady Lothíriel,” Boromir added. “Yet the other fair maidens of noble birth, Arwen of Imladris and Éowyn of Rohan, thus far have escaped his notice and live free. Or at least as free as anyone can be under the rule of this tyrant.”

“There have been quests to rid Middle Earth of our conqueror,” said Aragorn, “but swords and axes shatter on his skin, arrows bounce off, and even when we stole blasting powder from Saruman it had no effect. He is, in truth, invulnerable.”

“And that’s why we’re here, with gold, Master Luthor,” said Frodo. “We wish to purchase Kryptonite.”
Tags: fic, lotr
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