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Lord of the... harpoons? - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Lord of the... harpoons?
From a Lord of the Rings fanfic that I've just read at the Pit of Voles:

Alyssa jumped up wide awake her dagger, which she had placed under her pillow, drawn when she heard it; The Screeching whale of the Nazgul...

This is, presumably, from the version of Lord of the Rings where the Council of Elrond decides that the Fellowship shall include Legolas, representing the Elves, Gimli son of Glóin, representing the Dwarves, and Queequeg, representing the Harpooners.

Call me Ishmael Baggins...

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24 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
danel4d From: danel4d Date: October 4th, 2011 08:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
You may laugh now, but you wouldn't find it so funny once you found yourself facing the great Screeching Whale of the Nazgul.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 12:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm okay, I live about 500 feet above sea level.
beer_good_foamy From: beer_good_foamy Date: October 4th, 2011 09:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm pretty sure that in this version, the Dwarves were represented by Baleen.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 12:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Good one!
wildecate From: wildecate Date: October 4th, 2011 09:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Didn't you know that one of Aragorn's many names was Ahab?
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 12:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Known as 'Hopper' after the Screeching whale of the Nazgul bit off his leg.
slaymesoftly From: slaymesoftly Date: October 4th, 2011 09:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
ROFLMAO Love it.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 12:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
kathyh From: kathyh Date: October 4th, 2011 10:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bwahaha...that's perfect (and horrendous). Presumably the scroll that Gandalf found at Minas Tirith began "Call me Isildur..."

Happy Birthday!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 12:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
vikingprincess From: vikingprincess Date: October 5th, 2011 12:45 am (UTC) (Link)
That is horrific. Thank you for sharing it!

Also?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 12:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
cbtreks From: cbtreks Date: October 5th, 2011 02:08 am (UTC) (Link)
I wonder what the screeching Whale of the Nazgul looks like....

Happy Birthday!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 12:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

This is my guess...
audela From: audela Date: October 5th, 2011 03:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh good grief!

I guess it's also the version of the Lord of the Rings where the characters have to struggle over the Fractured Syntax Mountains and through the Random Punctuation Marshes.

speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 12:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Indeed so.
thismaz From: thismaz Date: October 5th, 2011 04:30 am (UTC) (Link)
I kind of like the idea of the Screeching Whale of the Nazgul.

But, the reason I'm here (a day late) is to wish you a

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY,

I HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL DAY

speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 12:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
cat63 From: cat63 Date: October 5th, 2011 06:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Snerk! Do you think they did that on porpoise? ;)

Should you happen to be wamdering in that direction, I think the folk at wrongworddammit might also find this amusing.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 01:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm almost cetacean they didn't do it on porpoise.
magnuskn From: magnuskn Date: October 5th, 2011 11:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, it's your birthday? May it be happy!

And, yeah, horrible grammar is horrible. And amusing. ^^
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 01:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
jay_of_lasgalen From: jay_of_lasgalen Date: October 5th, 2011 07:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
The screeching whale of the nazgul ...

*fights off plot bunnies*

I've friended you, if that's OK. I'm a friend of Wombat's.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 5th, 2011 08:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've had to fight off plot bunnies too, including one where Aragorn is known as 'Hopper' since his leg was bitten off by the Great White Screeching Whale...
24 comments or speak 2 me