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Geography fail... - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Geography fail...
'Twisting the Hellmouth' is currently being spammed with stories by a co-writing pair of obsessive Xander fans. They specialise in stories in which those who have not treated Xander with the respect that he deserves meet horrible fates. In one of them Willow is tortured to death by Angelus and it is obvious that the writer regards this as appropriate punishment for her failing to back Xander up in a dispute, with Buffy, over how to deal with Angelus. One of the writers also is obsessed with pairing Xander up with Jenny Calendar - can I be blind now?

None of that is all that unusual and I wouldn't have bothered mentioning them on those grounds. I have, however, been reading the reviews (I gave up on the actual stories very quickly), trying to work out what kind of people actually like that sort of fic, and I saw a couple of people picking up one of them on a glaring error.

He has Xander and Faith drive from Boston to California in 8 hours.

It's three thousand miles. Lewis Hamilton, in a Bugatti Veyron, with the roads closed to other traffic, would still be a thousand miles short at the end of 8 hours (even without allowing for the multiple refuelling stops that would be required, and assuming that he's been catheterised).

The author, in his reply to the first reviewer to point this out, says 'I do not live in america and so do not know how far boston is from california.' Dude. Please. Boston, East coast. California, West coast. The USA, pretty damn big. It should be blatantly obvious that you're not going to drive it in 8 hours. Google the distance. It's not rocket science.

Although rocket science is probably the only way of getting a car from Boston to Sunnydale in 8 hours.

Tags:
Current Music: Tracy Chapman, "Fast Car"

44 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
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maryperk73703 From: maryperk73703 Date: June 14th, 2010 08:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ugh, it takes 8 hours to drive from St Louis to Enid Oklahoma and that's without taking any breaks whatsoever. Yeah, someone needs to use mapquest.

I don't read all those Xander-centric stories there at TTH. They seem to think he's a wonderful, can-do-no-wrong Knight of some kind. He's just a guy as human as the next person. Sheesh.
liliaeth From: liliaeth Date: June 15th, 2010 08:57 am (UTC) (Link)
I think a lot of them seem to have a problem with the fact that Xander wasn't the main char on the show. Especially considering how many of them sideline Buffy herself. (when they don't reduce her to little more than Xander's love interest. (though admittedly, some Spike, Giles, Angel, ... fans do that as well.) Makes me wonder if people really are that weary to accept a female char as the hero.
enigmaticblues From: enigmaticblues Date: June 14th, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
It takes me 7 hours to drive from my home to my parents' home, and Colorado is right next door to Nebraska. Seriously. Google maps is brilliant.

*sigh* Sometimes I just don't get people.
makd From: makd Date: June 14th, 2010 08:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Boston to California in 8 hours????!!!

Yes. It boggles the mind. It's a distance of about 3,000 miles!!! Last time someone I knew tried it, it took 5-6 days, and that was in the days when the speed limit was about 65 mph. (Today, it's 55 mph.)
liz_marcs From: liz_marcs Date: June 14th, 2010 10:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Actually, on most major interstate highways it's back up to 65 mph. Unless that's just in the New England region, in which case, never mind.

But the timing of 5 to 6 days is about right. I had a friend that went from Southern California to Boston several years ago, and took him about 6 days, which included a half-day stop in Colorado to stay with some LJ friends.
julia_here From: julia_here Date: June 14th, 2010 08:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Given the sloppy thinking apparent in his treatment of canon I'm not surprised at the offhand dismissal of space and time.

I've broken my brain on doing research to get my own stories up to my standards, and envy, in a way, the ability to blithely dismiss mere reality to forge ahead into sheer nonsense.

(Eight hours on Interstate 90, which is part of the path of least resistance between Boston and California, gets you from Seattle, Washington to the turn off for Helena, Montana with much of that at 70mph; other routes are more direct but do not have long stretches of higher-than-55mph speed limits).

Julia, I suspect he also has Xander think in metric units...

Edited at 2010-06-14 08:37 pm (UTC)
frenchani From: frenchani Date: June 14th, 2010 08:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
and assuming that he's been catheterised

LOL

Google the distance. It's not rocket science.

Although rocket science is probably the only way of getting a car from Boston to Sunnydale in 8 hours.


*giggles*

petzipellepingo From: petzipellepingo Date: June 14th, 2010 08:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Although rocket science is probably the only way of getting a car from Boston to Sunnydale in 8 hours.

I'm doubtful even then...

It takes 10 hours to get from Copper Harbor (in the Upper Peninsula) to Monroe (near the Ohio border) for god's sake. And that's not leaving the State of Michigan.
agilebrit From: agilebrit Date: June 14th, 2010 09:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
*dies* I can't even drive from Salt Lake City to Pueblo, CO in eight hours, and the states are right next door to each other. Googlemaps. It's a couple of mouse clicks. It's not that hard.

But considering the apparent utter Fail of other things on the authors' parts, I am not surprised that they would be that sloppy over such a minor thing as REALITY.
slaymesoftly From: slaymesoftly Date: June 14th, 2010 09:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Fun way to point out the errors of someone's ways. And yeah, anyone who disregards both reality and canon that easily probably isn't worth reading anyway. :)
jgracio From: jgracio Date: June 14th, 2010 09:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have you considered that they might be using a magic car? :D
hurry_sundown From: hurry_sundown Date: June 14th, 2010 09:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, speakr. That's the best laugh I've had in days.
(Deleted comment)
audela From: audela Date: June 14th, 2010 09:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm not sure what's scarier, reading the stories or the reviews. I can understand why people like Xander more than I do, or why they like Spike or Buffy less, but the extreme distorting character hate? Don't get it. If your view of the show is so twisted that Buffy beating Xander almost to death for his "Kick his Ass" in Becoming2 without the slightest remorse, or opposition from Willow or Cordelia, makes any kind of sense to you, then I guess a US where the 2 coasts are just a long days drive apart is nothing.

I guess it's not about the show, or about writing, it's just getting some psychological buttons pushed. And what buttons! I don't think I'd like to meet these guys IRL.
shipperx From: shipperx Date: June 14th, 2010 10:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
Google the distance. It's not rocket science

Seriously! I always do that for road trip fic. Google is so darn helpful. Not only does it give you the distance, but the closest route, the alternative route, how long it would take to drive it, and pictures! Any and/or all of these things can be helpful!

Edited at 2010-06-14 10:18 pm (UTC)
ffutures From: ffutures Date: June 14th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
He's a moron, why let it worry you?
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: June 15th, 2010 06:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
It doesn't worry me, I just thought it deserved to be mocked.
paratti From: paratti Date: June 14th, 2010 10:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
You know what this calls for: Top Gear Challenge/Clarkson voice

Though this may be beyond even The Stig.
44 comments or speak 2 me
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