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The Perils of the Pit of Voles - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
The Perils of the Pit of Voles
My name is Speaker to Customers and I'm a masochist.

I've been reading fic at fanfiction dot net recently. I started off reading Stargate SG1 fic - the archives that I've found tend to be full of slushy shipper fic and that just isn't SG1 to me, and so I fell back on the Pit of Voles where at least there is a wide variety - and moved on to BtVS.

I'd forgotten how dreadful things are there. There is some good stuff (although most of the best I'd read before on LJ or on dedicated archives) but the majority of the fics are unspeakably dire. There is a surprising amount of Buffy/Giles fic there - ewww, ewww, and thrice ewww! My suffering has proved useful, however, in gathering material for CW's forthcoming presentation at the UK Writercon Midimeet. Mainly from the illiterate summaries.

The one that cracked me up most featured this gem: 'Buffy puts Faith in a comma'.

Tags:
Current Music: The Smiths, "Girlfriend in a Comma'

17 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
bogwitch From: bogwitch Date: August 2nd, 2009 09:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I know. I know it's serious.
beer_good_foamy From: beer_good_foamy Date: August 2nd, 2009 10:00 am (UTC) (Link)
'Buffy puts Faith in a comma'.

Maybe she was on her period?
draconin From: draconin Date: August 2nd, 2009 10:03 am (UTC) (Link)
I'll bet reading that brought you to a full stop!
booster17 From: booster17 Date: August 2nd, 2009 10:17 am (UTC) (Link)
Ah, yes. The classic "Girlfriend in a Coma", which is best sang along to the tune of "Tiptoe Through the Tulips".
From: peasant_ Date: August 2nd, 2009 11:07 am (UTC) (Link)
What on earth is Wombat presenting that makes this useful? 'When fic makes your eyes bleed - 100 coping strategies'?
curiouswombat From: curiouswombat Date: August 2nd, 2009 10:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
The title is 'Things that make you go WTF?'

Although your title sounds good too...

sammywol From: sammywol Date: August 2nd, 2009 12:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've read that one!!!
enigmaticblues From: enigmaticblues Date: August 2nd, 2009 01:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! I love that summary. And yes, there are a lot of really awful fics out there.
thismaz From: thismaz Date: August 2nd, 2009 02:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Buffy the beta reader. Hmmm. Now I'm afraid, too. *g*
cbtreks From: cbtreks Date: August 2nd, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
If you and by brother-in-law ever met, the world might end from the power of all your puns brought together in one place. Though we'd all have fun on the way out, I'm sure!
timeofchange From: timeofchange Date: August 2nd, 2009 05:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Snerk! Also, word on the Buffy/Giles ewwww!
zanthinegirl From: zanthinegirl Date: August 2nd, 2009 10:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ventured there myself lately-- I got an emailed notice that you'd posted something there! I'd almost forgotten about the pit of volves...

I know josephine_64 wites SG1 fic. I don't know how shippy it is (don't know the verse so haven't read it) but she's usually a wonderful writer.
pfeifferpack From: pfeifferpack Date: August 3rd, 2009 01:05 am (UTC) (Link)
"Faith in perpetual fetal position thereafter." LOL

Too funny!! I really avoid the pit of voles and usually stick to either LJ or archives.

I rather like the idea of Buffy putting Faith in a comma (or a semi colon perhaps....some form or punctuation at least). I think only one writer is up for the challenge of actually writing anything to make it so and that would be you! The Master of making the impossible work.

Kathleen
yes you may take that as a challenge.
hurry_sundown From: hurry_sundown Date: August 3rd, 2009 01:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
My suffering has proved useful, however, in gathering material for CW's forthcoming presentation at the UK Writercon Midimeet.

Oh, speaker. The things you do for love. *g*
ozma914 From: ozma914 Date: August 4th, 2009 10:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Well, my fic is still over there! :-)

But you're right, there's a lot of crap to wade through. I should know -- I wade through it too.
evilawyer From: evilawyer Date: August 5th, 2009 07:37 am (UTC) (Link)
***hands you flogger for on-demand self-flagellation***

I can't go there anymore, not for any fic in any fandom. It's too painful.
kitty_poker1 From: kitty_poker1 Date: August 9th, 2009 12:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, now I'm looking forward to CW's presentation even more.

I second, third and fourth the Buffy/Giles ewwwing and add an uggh.
17 comments or speak 2 me