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Fic: Playing With Herself Chapter Two - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
Fic: Playing With Herself Chapter Two
Here is the second chapter of my Willow/Vampire Willow story ‘Playing With Herself’. Chapter One was HERE. Exactly 1,000 words, as was the first chapter, part two of a planned four. This chapter takes place around the time of the Season 3 episode ‘Enemies’. Still PG for now.

Playing With Herself

Chapter Two

“I can’t drink this.” Vampire Willow wrinkled up her nose and pushed away the Styrofoam container.

Giles frowned. “I’m afraid that it’s not possible for you to have human blood,” he told her. “Feeding on humans is quite out of the question, of course, and obtaining out-of-date blood from the hospital would result in far too many questions.”

She rolled her eyes. “Hey, White Hat Librarian guy, I thought you were supposed to be all smart. How come you don’t see the problem?”

Giles frowned more deeply. “I would appreciate a straight answer, Willow. Ah, Vampire Willow, that is, and we really must find some less cumbersome way of differentiating between the two of you.”

Vampire Willow shrugged. “Okay, call me Willow, and call her Human Willow or, hey, what about Classic Willow?”

“Snickers, the new name for Willow,” Giles said. He grinned on seeing the perplexed expression on Vampire Willow’s face. “Sorry, British joke. Anyway, Vampire Willow, why won’t you drink the blood?”

“It’s pork blood, Giles.” She rolled her eyes. “Jewish here, in case you didn’t know.”

“Ah, yes, I see. Although your human counterpart does not observe kosher rules. I’ve seen her eating bacon.”

“Bacon tasted really yummy when I was human,” Vampire Willow pointed out. “Animal blood’s just a poor substitute for the real thing, so, not exactly tempting. Okay, we’re not supposed to consume any blood at all, and it’s a pretty big no-no, but I don’t have any choice about breaking that rule. Get me lamb blood from a sochet and I’ll be happy.”

“I should have thought of that myself,” Giles said. “Of course. I shall arrange it.”

“Thanks,” said Vampire Willow. “And, hey, they just throw it away, so it’ll probably be cheaper too.”

- - - - -

Willow peered over the shoulder of her vampire counterpart. “What are you writing?”

“Fanfic,” Vampire Willow replied.

Willow’s eyebrows shot up. “Well, I’ve kinda noticed you haven’t been all big with the brooding, like Angel, but you haven’t been eating anyone either so I just thought the soul must affect different people, well vampires, different ways, but I wouldn’t have thought that it would make you write fanfic. Is it, like, re-connecting with your human side?”

“Exactly,” Vampire Willow said. She glanced away from the screen and gave Willow a little smile with her lips quirked up fractionally at the corners. “Wanna read it?”

“Sure,” Willow said. “Although, probably not the best person to be a beta here, seeing as how we were the same person for most of our lives.”

“You’ve been in school longer than me,” Vampire Willow reminded her, “on account of me having to drop out due to being dead.”

“I don’t think I’ve learnt anything new about writing the past year,” Willow said. “What’s the fandom?”

“I started by going back to Doogie Howser,” Vampire Willow told her, “and then I moved on to Friends.” She shuffled aside, so that Willow could sit down, and passed over the laptop.

Willow smiled as she read. The smile quickly faded and was replaced by a worried frown. “It’s a little, well, gory,” she commented.

“Well, yeah,” Vampire Willow agreed, “but keep reading.”

Willow obeyed. After a little while her smile returned, turned into a grin, and then into a chuckle. “It’s cruel,” she said, “but pretty funny.”

“That was what I was going for,” Vampire Willow said. “So, you like?”

“Yeah, it was good,” Willow said. “I’d never have thought of a vampire writing fanfic but, hey, you’re me. I guess.” She scrolled down to the next fic. “Let’s see what you’ve done to ‘Friends’. ‘What if Chandler wasn’t bitten by a peacock at the zoo but by a vampire at the cemetery?’ You vamped Chandler?”

Vampire Willow shrugged. “They say, ‘write what you know’,” she said.

Willow read on. This time she started to chuckle right at the beginning. Eventually, however, her chuckles died away. Her eyes widened, her eyebrows rose, and her jaw dropped. She read on. “Uh, wow,” she said, on reaching the end. “That was seriously hot. ‘Write what you know’, huh?”

Vampire Willow grinned. “I stopped leading a sheltered life and started leading a pretty wild un-life instead. It turned you on, huh?”

“A little,” Willow admitted. “Uh, they’ll never let you post that at fanfic dot net.”

Vampire Willow nodded. “Point,” she said. “Maybe I’ll write a fade-to-black version. This one can go up at adultfanfiction dot net.”

“I guess,” Willow said, and then it dawned on her that her vampire counterpart had slipped an arm around her while she was reading and was snuggling up against her. “Meep!” she squeaked, jerking away. “No bad touching! No bad touching!”

Vampire Willow’s expression was the picture of wide-eyed innocence. “It’s just a hug,” she said. “Don’t worry, Snickers, I won’t do anything bad. Soul, remember?”

“Uh, yeah,” said Willow. She relaxed slightly. “Snickers? Huh?”

“Giles suggested it as a new name for you,” Vampire Willow said. “Don’t ask me why. It’s neater than Willow Version One point Zero.”

“Uh, I guess I can live with you using it,” Willow said, “but not in front of the others, ‘kay?”

Vampire Willow grinned. “Okay, just when we’re alone.”

“That’s, uh, good.” Willow fidgeted in her seat. Vampire Willow’s arm was still around her but there wasn’t any naughty touching going on and so she decided not to make an issue of it. “So, how’s the soul working out for you, apart from the fanfic?”

“I’m not gonna go all mope-y like the silly puppy,” Vampire Willow said. “What good does that do? Better to do something constructive for the White Hats instead of sitting around brooding.” She pulled Willow to her, kissed her on the cheek, and then released her before Willow could object. “Bored now. Come on, Snickers, the sun’s gone down. Let’s go out and smite the forces of Evil. Or, hey, I can smite and you can watch. Then we can go to the Bronze and shake some booty.”

Tags: ,
Current Music: Meredith Brooks, "Bitch"

11 comments or speak 2 me
ffutures From: ffutures Date: March 26th, 2009 12:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh wow, I'd completely forgotten that Vamp Willow originated the "bored now" thing. Nice one.

Now who's going to think that they're identical twins..?

Oh, and if you don't already know them I recommend The Erotic Adventures of Buffy and Evil Vampire Willow, cartoons by Fox. Not even a little work safe...

Original series - http://buffy.slayers.co.uk/01x01.htm

Some later ones

Annoyingly this starts with the last one...

Edited at 2009-03-26 01:01 pm (UTC)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 26th, 2009 01:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

I'd read the original Buffy & Evil Willow strips but I hadn't seen the newer ones; thanks for the link. Unfortunately I wasn't impressed by the later ones as they're in black-and-white and make silly errors like having Rona white and Vi black.
From: ibis_thoth Date: March 26th, 2009 01:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
That was a fun read. I like the idea of Vamp!Willow writing fanfic.

Oh but now I have Vinnie winding up as a ghost companion ala Werewolf in London for the Doogie Howser story...it's too early in the day for creativity.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 26th, 2009 01:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

I tried to come up with an outline for Willow's Doogie Howser story - I was thinking along the lines of Vinnie joining the Mob, as it's a very Mob name and the actor was in The Sopranos later - but I couldn't come up with anything funny and just left it to the reader.
brunettepet From: brunettepet Date: March 26th, 2009 03:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Vamp!Willow writing "Friends" fanfic is hysterical and I love that she uses it as a seduction tool. Snickers doesn't stand a chance, does she?

Chandler as a vampire is a real mind blower.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 26th, 2009 05:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
From: arkeus Date: March 26th, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Poor willow alpha doesn't havea chance :XD
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 26th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

Of course Vampire Willow does have competition from Oz...
From: ellaygee_09 Date: March 27th, 2009 12:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Three's Company?
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 28th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Ooooh, you continued it! :) Very nicely done... Willow has no chance at all. :p


speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 28th, 2009 10:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
11 comments or speak 2 me