Speaker-to-Customers (speakr2customrs) wrote,

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Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm going down the garden to eat worms

I used to be a regular on the newsgroup alt.fan.pratchett. My participation there dwindled as my involvement with LiveJournal and the Buffy fandom grew; they seem to have taken exception to that and my last few posts there have gone totally unanswered, even ones addressed specifically to the person who was a close friend and my beta asking what I've done to offend and why won't she answer my e-mails.

Anyway, there was a discussion there which triggered a Drabble from me; nobody commented on it at all, but I like it and I think it deserves better than disappearing without trace, so I'll reproduce it (and the part of the thread immediately beforehand that put it into context) here. 100 words, rating G, fandom "Hornblower" but pretty universal.

>>Rocky Frisco wrote
>>>I'll take our Oklahoma Tarantulas
>>>for scary, but not too dangerous: http://www.ou.edu/oupd/pertara.htm

>>CCA wrote
>>Quote from that page: "They will bite if pressed."
>>Now who, on seeing a spider that size, would think "I know, I'll just go and
>>give it a bit of a press..."
> raymond larsson wrote:
> Wrong meaning of pressed, think more Napoleonic era navies.

Hornblower and the American

Hornblower stood on the quarterdeck and looked sternly at the parade of defaulters led to him by the Bosun. “Ha-h’m!” he growled. “What have we here, Brown?”

“Defaulter, Cap’n Hornblower, sir. Fightin’ in the foc’sle, an' he bit Seaman Staines summat shocking. Pressed man off that American ship we captured, not happy, but he’s good in the rigging, Cap’n, can get to the t’gallants faster than any other man we got.”

“Ha-h’m. Well, we can’t have fighting and biting, Brown. He’s sentenced to ten lashes. And he’s improperly dressed. Have the sailmaker run him up some eight-legged trousers at once.”

Tags: drabbles
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