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My Last Qwa’ha Xahn Was Taller 1: Bear Necessities - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
My Last Qwa’ha Xahn Was Taller 1: Bear Necessities
There is a Challenge on ‘Twisting the Hellmouth’ called ‘Qwa’ha Xahns Illyria Never Had’. ‘With the death of Wesley, Illyria needs a new guide, a new Qwa'ha Xahn. Who does she pick? Think on all your favorite fandoms. What kind of impressions would different Qwa'ha Xahns make on Illyria?’ The suggestions include Jack O’Neill or Daniel Jackson from ‘Stargate SG-1’, Sarah Jane Smith, and serial killer Dexter Morgan. Of course that’s not the way my mind works. I’m doing 5 drabbles in a series titled ‘My Last Qwa'ha Xahn Was Taller’. I’ve written 3 so far, taking a break from the suicidally depressed Illyria of my other current drabble series; here’s the first. G, 100 words.


Bear Necessities


Illyria frowned at her Qwa’ha Xahn. “You eat ants? They seem but meager sustenance for one of your considerable bulk.”

“You better believe it, baby. Ants, grubs, prickly pear and paw-paw, they’re all part of Mother Nature’s recipes. Look for the simple bare necessities of life.”

Illyria shook her head. “I desire accoutrements suitable for my station. I will not grovel in the dirt for my nourishment. Your muzzle is stained by juice and your fur is dirty. You are an unsatisfactory Qwa’ha Xahn, Baloo the Bear. I should have accepted the offer of the sleek and sophisticated Shere Khan.”

Continued in ‘The God-King at Pooh Corner’

Tags: ,
Current Location: 19th Century India
Current Music: Pretty obvious really...

12 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
From: ibis_thoth Date: March 3rd, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
*bursts out in laughter*

Oh priceless, and I think I envy your ability to mesh disparate ideas so well.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 3rd, 2009 10:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
brunettepet From: brunettepet Date: March 3rd, 2009 10:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
I can totally see Baloo indiscriminately scratching himself and looking mildly amused throughout the interview.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 3rd, 2009 10:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
He's gone, man, solid gone.
ffutures From: ffutures Date: March 3rd, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Can't see her liking that much, wonder why she chose him in the first place?

Knowing her liking for plants, would Seymour (Little Shop of Horrors) and/or Audrey be a good match?

Edited at 2009-03-03 10:45 pm (UTC)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 3rd, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
She was probably expecting the solemn and wise Teacher of the Law from the book rather than the ultra laid-back slob from the movie.

Seymour and/or Audrey might be good matches but I wasn't particularly keen on Little Shop of Horrors and so that crossover is ruled out.
cbtreks From: cbtreks Date: March 3rd, 2009 11:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
I imagine Brother Louie would consider being Qwa'ha Xahn a privilege. I wonder how long he'd survive it?
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 3rd, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Give me the power of Man's red flower..."

"Your request puzzles me, Qwa'ha Xahn, but as you wish so shall it be." (Sets King Louie on fire)

"Aaaargh!"
vikingprincess From: vikingprincess Date: March 4th, 2009 02:13 am (UTC) (Link)
*giggles helplessly*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 4th, 2009 04:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Glad it amused you.
firefly124 From: firefly124 Date: March 4th, 2009 02:40 am (UTC) (Link)
ROFLMAO!! That's awesome!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 4th, 2009 04:16 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
12 comments or speak 2 me