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I have a cunning plan - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
I have a cunning plan

Belated happy birthday to thomasina75, maryperk73703, ladyemorgaine, and happy birthday to physicsteach and booster17

I know how to solve the world financial crisis.

It is blatantly obvious that it is being made massively worse by the media.

No bank in the world, no matter how cautious and responsible, can survive all its depositors withdrawing their money. The bulk of that money has been lent out; these loans may well be totally safe, loaned only to honest and reliable people who have never missed a payment and who never will, but they CAN'T be forced to repay the loans at a moment's notice. Consequently the constant yammering in the newspapers and TV of 'OMG the banks are going to go bust and you will LOSE YOUR MONEY!', inevitably panicking people into withdrawing said money, is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What is needed is something that will distract the attention of the media so that they just shut up about the 'crisis' and let the public go back to acting rationally instead of destroying everything. It will have to be something really spectacularly newsworthy, of course, and I have the perfect thing for this celebrity-obsessed world.

Prince William, for the sake of the economies of the Western world, I'm afraid that you're going to have to marry Paris Hilton.

Tags: ,
Current Music: Pink Floyd, 'Money'

33 comments or speak 2 me
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adriana_is From: adriana_is Date: October 11th, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Brilliant solution!
zanthinegirl From: zanthinegirl Date: October 11th, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh dear God! The perfect solution-- and she'll have to stay in your part of the world that way. It's a win-win!
petzipellepingo From: petzipellepingo Date: October 11th, 2008 10:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
and she'll have to stay in your part of the world that way. It's a win-win!

Yup, you have to keep her and Madonna.
hjcallipygian From: hjcallipygian Date: October 11th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hahaha, okay, that is awesome.
booster17 From: booster17 Date: October 11th, 2008 09:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

And lets not jump straight to marriage as a first solution : William just has to get her pregnent first...
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 11th, 2008 10:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
William just has to get her pregnant first...

Simultaneously. Consummation at the end of the ceremony, right in the aisle at Westminster Abbey, on live TV and later available on DVD. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
pfeifferpack From: pfeifferpack Date: October 11th, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
*snort* I think you have come upon the PERFECT plan! These two are obsessions by the public worldwide...think of the drama as we are glued to the moment by moment planning, preparations, (Which BFF of Paris will make the bridesmaid cut? Will she have her dog be ring bearer?). You have come on the BEST IDEA EVER!

arclevel From: arclevel Date: October 12th, 2008 02:06 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG, I love your icon!
kantayra From: kantayra Date: October 11th, 2008 09:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hell, this would probably bring about world peace, too. But war-torn nations aren't going to get the latest gossip magazines about the upcoming wedding, either.
a_starfish From: a_starfish Date: October 11th, 2008 10:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Here via my friendsfriends page. I thought this post was rather fitting to the headline I was just listening to on BBC News 24 about the IMF meeting which was saying the world financial system was teetering on the edge of collapse. Put like that it's *really* going to help people to stay calm and not want to hoard their savings in the form of gold under their beds. *rollseyes* Using the word crisis ten thousand times in every news report doesn't help build a general sense of calm either, now maybe if every time they wanted to use the word crisis it was replaced with 'stuff up' there would be less panic.

Prince William, for the sake of the economies of the Western world, I'm afraid that you're going to have to marry Paris Hilton.

PS. Your plan is genius! There must be talk of babies included too for maximum news coverage.

Edited at 2008-10-11 10:12 pm (UTC)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 11th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Or mention of a possible 'wedding night video'...
desdemonaspace From: desdemonaspace Date: October 11th, 2008 10:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you, Speakr, for a much-needed LOL.
(Deleted comment)
ayinhara From: ayinhara Date: October 11th, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sheer brilliance!
enigmaticblues From: enigmaticblues Date: October 12th, 2008 12:05 am (UTC) (Link)
LMHO! That is a fantastic plan, and it just might work.
mommanerd From: mommanerd Date: October 12th, 2008 12:14 am (UTC) (Link)
LOL - Perfect solution!

You're brilliant.
brunettepet From: brunettepet Date: October 12th, 2008 12:43 am (UTC) (Link)
This is a much better thought out solution than what has been offered. Show us something shiny, we're easily distractible!
missmurchison From: missmurchison Date: October 12th, 2008 01:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Wisdom greater than Solomon's. I salute you.
arclevel From: arclevel Date: October 12th, 2008 02:12 am (UTC) (Link)
I freely admit to knowing little to nothing about the economy -- my personal solution is to stick my fingers in my ears, pretend it isn't happening, and try not to think about the fact that I'm about to start applying for completely necessary loans. However, I totally think that your plan for world finances should be adopted. Soon.

(Except that one thing I *do* know about the economic meltdown is that, much as it really, really sucks and is very, very bad, it's good for Obama's ever-growing chances of election...)
33 comments or speak 2 me
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