Speaker-to-Customers (speakr2customrs) wrote,

Drabble: Welcome to the Pleasure Domes

Here is a double drabble that I almost titled ‘Crude And Obscure’, because it is, and most of you probably won’t get it. Read at your own risk. A triple crossover; ‘Conan the Barbarian’, ‘Discworld’, and ‘Neverwinter Nights 2’. 200 words, R.

Welcome To The Pleasure Domes

The nomad warlord drained his bowl of kumis and then addressed the warriors who were gathered in his yurt. “Tell me,” he said, “in what things in life can a man find the greatest pleasure?”

“Hah!” grunted one of his horde, “they are the cry of the eagle in the heights, the fall of snow in the forest, and a true arrow in your bow.”

“No,” said another nomad warrior, “the finest things in life are the open steppe, a fleet horse under you, a falcon at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.”

The warlord turned to the tallest of his three famous guests. “What is your opinion, Conan of Cimmeria?”

The mighty barbarian did not hesitate. “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.”

The warlord nodded approvingly and turned to his next guest. “And yours, oh Ghenghiz Cohen?”

The elderly barbarian cleared his throat. “Hot water, good dentishtry, and soft lavatory paper.”

The warlord raised his eyebrows and looked to his final guest.

The Knight-Captain of Crossroads Keep furrowed his brows in thought. “Personally,” he said at last, “I’d go for a tit-fuck from Torio Claven.”

Tags: drabbles, fic
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