Acting as beta for the Wombat’s BtVS/LotR crossover fic Return of the Key has inspired me to produce yet another piece of pure insanity. A triple-drabble this time; no crossover elements (except very loosely with Animaniacs!). For once there is no mention of my usual LotR Gimli/Galadriel ’ship; although, of course, I’d have worked it in if I could. PG, 300 words, set during Return of the King. Groan warning.
Lord of the Wings
The Black Gates swung open. Forth from their forbidding maw rode out the five Heralds of Sauron to parley with the Army of the West.
“Is there anyone in this rabble with the authority to treat with us?” asked their leader, a man robed all in black, riding upon a black steed with black harness.
“I am the King Elessar,” Aragorn announced himself. “Who are you, and your fellows?”
“I am the Mouth of Sauron,” said the Herald.
Aragorn’s questioning gaze swung to the next rider. This was a man mighty of stature, such that he seemed more ogre than man, clad in plate armour of black steel and bearing a massive black hammer.
“I am the Hand of Sauron,” the warrior boomed out. “Tremble before me, puny king.”
Aragorn merely raised an eyebrow and turned to the next. This was no human but a black centaur.
“I am known as the Legs of Sauron,” declared the centaur, “for I am matchless in speed.”
“And you?” Aragorn asked the fourth Herald.
This being was of human shape but was covered in black fur and had the head of a wolf. Nostrils flared as the Herald sniffed at Aragorn. “The Nose of Sauron am I,” said the werewolf, “and once I have the scent of an enemy I can track him even unto the ends of the world.”
The last of the Heralds was a strange figure indeed. A great bird, perhaps the size of Gwaihir the Windlord, but this was no eagle; a giant chicken with black feathers stood before the Gates of Morannon and looked back at Aragorn.
The King of Gondor raised his eyebrows. “What of you, fowl creature?” he asked.
The enormous rooster raised his beak and crowed before replying. “Isn’t it obvious? I am Sauron’s cock.”