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Drabble: The Drow Have A Word For It - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
Drabble: The Drow Have A Word For It
I gave in and watched Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog yesterday. You bastard, Joss. You ripped my heart out – again. I’m already ficcing it; one funny one, almost completed, crossover with Buffy Season 8 – and another one that will not be funny. There will be blood – the blood that deserves to be shed. Probably internal organs, too. Payback time.

What made it even worse was that I’d ripped my own heart out the previous day. I’ve had to write the next ‘Tabula Avatar’ chapter in very short bursts because I keep being blinded by tears as I write. I haven’t been this affected by one of my own stories since the final two chapters of ‘The Cloak of Mist’. You’ll see why in a couple of days or so (tears permitting).

In sheer self-preservation I’ve taken a break from the angst to revisit the funny. A ‘Tabula Avatar’ drabble set during the current chapter. Buffy is aggrieved at the way the Drow language spell is cramping her conversational style... 100 words, R for language.

The Drow Have A Word For It

“It’s not fair,” Buffy complained. “When I try to use a euphonium for sex…”

Giles coughed. “I think you mean ‘euphemism’.”

“Whatever. Anyway, when I use our usual words, they come out as ‘fucking’ in Drow, but Spike’s weird English words like ‘sodding’, ‘buggering’, and ‘shagging’ don’t. How come?”

“They’re real words,” Spike said. “You made yours up.”

Buffy pouted. “So?”

“Some Drow words are old Elvish,” Viconia explained, “from when we lived on the surface. ‘Buggering’ is anal sex. ‘Sodding’ was pelting a wrongdoer with soil and turf.”

“And ‘shagging’?”

Viconia smirked at Spike. “That’s ‘sex with a cormorant’.”

Tags: , ,
Current Location: Ust Natha
Current Music: Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

21 comments or speak 2 me
appomattoxco From: appomattoxco Date: July 20th, 2008 12:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

Looking at published crack-fic last night I found; were-mongoose het, f/f were-dove/were-hawk, and an all male human/were dolphins three-some story. I wouldn't buy any on a bet. The mongoose one looked funny until I saw the warning for sex while shifted. If I suspend disbelief enough I can buy were-whatever but I can't stretch it to believe any of these combos would work. Not that I'd want to!
(Deleted comment)
appomattoxco From: appomattoxco Date: July 20th, 2008 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
A good writer can make anything good. And I suppose it dit did sell, but...
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 21st, 2008 08:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Were-mongoose sex while shifted would be fine if it's with another shifted were-mongoose.
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 21st, 2008 04:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Don´t tell that to *any* shapeshifter in the World of Darkness universe. ^^

redwulf50 From: redwulf50 Date: July 20th, 2008 12:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
ROFLMAO, LOL is just how Spike's luck run s isn't it?
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 21st, 2008 09:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Viconia does have some similarities to a cormorant. Well, really only one.
danel4d From: danel4d Date: July 20th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's a comicbook universe. She comes back in, like, a week. Tops. THIS IS NOT DENIAL. THIS IS TRUTH.

Heh. I've got to say that I do like the things you have Buffy do with words. Some writers take it too far, but you do it well.
ffutures From: ffutures Date: July 20th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think that everything from the relabelling of the gun onwards was in Billy's imagination, not reality. So bringing her back would be easy if they make more.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 21st, 2008 08:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I saw a post the other day - can't remember who by, unfortunately - pointing out that Buffy had a wider vocabulary in Season 1 and, for instance, used 'matricide' correctly in 'The Witch'. It's also canon, however, that in 'The Freshman' she thought that 'reconnaissance' was the period following the Middle Ages characterised by a boom in painting, sculpture, and designs for man-powered helicopters.
sammywol From: sammywol Date: July 20th, 2008 04:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
don't tell Rory McGrath! Heee!

Am nervous about Tabula Avatar ... gulps
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 21st, 2008 08:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Rory McGrath might pedantically state that the cormorant is Phalacrocorax carbo and the shag is Phalacrocorax aristotelis, as I saw him doing on 'QI', but really there is no clear distinction between the names as applied to the 40 species that make up the genus Phalacrocorax. Phalacrocorax carbo is called the Great Cormorant in the UK but it is called the Black Shag in New Zealand.

About Tabula Avatar... no comment.
sammywol From: sammywol Date: July 21st, 2008 09:42 am (UTC) (Link)
That Latinate reaction was exactly what I was afraid of. I heard him interviewed on Radio 4 recently and he seems to be trailing the consequences of that QI appearance round still. He says he gets asked about it everywhere and the kinds of work offers he gets have shifted dramatically towards the 'younger Bill Oddie' end of the spectrum.

And you are right about the fuzziness of the designation. Cormorants are lumped in as shags here in Ireland by the older generation although most people my age and younger have reversed the sweeping inaccuracy and now call shags, cormorants.

PS Mr Wol read this ficlet and, in spite of being well used to punning, snorted tea of out his nose. Thought you should know you're doing something right.
ffutures From: ffutures Date: July 20th, 2008 04:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes, it's about time that someone explained a few words to Buffy.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 21st, 2008 08:57 am (UTC) (Link)
And to Joss, whose grasp of English slang was sometimes exceedingly shaky.
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 21st, 2008 08:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Nice. :)

I sense gory deaths for some cast-members, though. Here´s to them not being people I care about.

From: (Anonymous) Date: July 21st, 2008 08:21 am (UTC) (Link)
Grmbl. Why does LJ swallow anything which I put in those angular brackets? I wanted to put a "runs" into them behind my last post, to show that I wasn´t that serious, but what can ya do? :(

speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 21st, 2008 08:55 am (UTC) (Link)
A very bad thing is going to happen to someone who has over two million fans worldwide.

And Buffy is going to have sex with a euphonium
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 21st, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hm. Hmmmm. Well, that leaves out any of the BG cast ( unless Viconia is more popular than even I imagined ), and pretty much centers it around Buffy, Spike, Willow, Tara or Giles. Eeep! Let it be Tara. ^^ ( Although I like your version... )

myxale From: myxale Date: July 21st, 2008 09:06 am (UTC) (Link)

LOL, typical! :)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 21st, 2008 09:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
gillo From: gillo Date: August 6th, 2008 11:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
So this is sex involving laying eggs inside a paper bag? You know how to make it kinky!

Very funny.
21 comments or speak 2 me