This is not specifically a birthday fic; in fact it is intended more for liz_marcs, who has recently discovered ‘Futurama’. This is the fourth part of a series that began as a Xander-in-Africa double drabble and is now a BtVS/Futurama crossover. It follows on from Xander of the River, Again Xander, and If A Picture Paints A Thousand Herds. A 400-word double-double drabble. PG, if that.
Kinda Like Buck Rogers
Xander stared at the strange old man. “It’s kinda, well, incredible,” he said. “I’ve been dead for, like, a thousand years? And I’ve been brought back through a picture?”
“With my amazing image re-animation process,” Professor Farnsworth confirmed.
“Hey, I’m from the twentieth century too,” Fry said. “I fell into, uh, a sort of freezing sleeping thing. It’s cool to have somebody else from my time here. Although, the last couple of times really didn’t work out too well.”
“You only have one eye,” Xander said to Leela. “Uh, sorry, I guess that’s kinda rude.”
“It’s the truth,” said Leela. “And you only have one eye too. So we have something in common.” Fry’s smile turned into a hostile glare directed at Xander.
“And you’re a lobster,” Xander said to Zoidberg. “And there’s a robot.”
“Well, bite my shiny metal ass,” Bender said. “Are all humans from the twentieth century dumb? Though, then again, stupid question. Thirty-first century ones are dumb, why should I expect any different from the prehistoric ones?”
Xander shook his head slowly. “Look, this is all kinda weird to me. Maybe I’ll get used to it later but I think that, right now, I need to splash my face with some cold water.”
“The bathroom’s right over there,” Professor Farnsworth said.
“Thanks.” Xander made his way to the bathroom with slightly wobbly steps. He pulled open the door and was confronted by a wildebeest. The ungainly creature thrust its long snout towards Xander, tossed its head, and bleated.
Xander yelped in surprise. He jumped backwards, gasped for breath, and fainted.
“He’s dead,” Bender deduced. “Poor old prehistoric guy. I call dibs on anything he has in his pockets.”
Leela bent to examine Xander’s limp form. “He’s breathing,” she said. “Zoidberg, can you do anything?”
“I can do many things,” Zoidberg said. “I can sing, I can dance, I can devour small marine creatures, I can even do flower arranging. Hooray for Zoidberg!”
Leela rolled her eye. “I’m axing you to examine him,” she said.
“Oh, yes, I can do that,” Zoidberg replied. “I have a diploma.” He lifted up Xander’s wrist and felt for a pulse, commanded the unconscious Xander to say ‘Ah’, and then placed his head against Xander’s chest and listened. “His heart is beating,” Zoidberg announced. “He has only fainted. My diagnosis is that he is suffering from the shock of the gnu.”
Next in series: Oddly Familiar Somehow