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Double drabble: Xander of the River - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Double drabble: Xander of the River
I’ve decided that I’m going to ignore the Season 8 canon revelation that Xander is in Scotland rather than in Africa. ‘Xander in Africa’ is just too good a genre to write off because of some half-baked retcon by Joss. This particular example of the genre, however, is not exactly in the ‘Lonely On The Mountain’ league. A stupid idea that occurred to me during lunch. A double drabble, 200 words, PG.

ETA: this turned into a series, and a crossover series at that. The 'futurama' tag will be explained later.


Xander of the River


Xander hung on to the wildebeest’s mane, gritted his teeth, and tried not to think about crocodiles. It wasn’t the way of crossing the Mara River that he would have chosen if there had been any other viable alternative. With a mob of angry Maasai Moran at his heels, waving their long-bladed spears and baying for the blood of the pair of ilmeet who had committed a gross cultural indiscretion, joining the wildebeest migration had been the only available means of escape.

“My wildebeest is getting tired,” Andrew wailed from behind him. “I don’t think it’s gonna make it across the river, Xander. You’re gonna have to give me a tow.”

Xander rolled his eye. “Like hell, Andrew. It’s your fault that we’re in this mess anyway. My wildebeest isn’t in great shape either. If I give you a tow you’ll drag us both down.”

“But it’s sinking, Xander,” Andrew whined. “You have to help me.”

Xander spotted a flat piece of wood floating on the surface of the water. He steered his wildebeest to within reach of the wood, seized it, and passed it across to the other man. “Here,” he told Andrew. “Use this. Paddle your own gnu.”

Next in series: Again Xander

Tags: ,
Current Location: The Maasai Mara

31 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
ayinhara From: ayinhara Date: April 9th, 2007 04:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
You are the king of bad puns. I loved it.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 09:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
woman_of_ From: woman_of_ Date: April 9th, 2007 04:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Moan, saw it coming, but still loved it.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 09:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
agilebrit From: agilebrit Date: April 9th, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
HEEE! Awesome.

I'm going to fanwank like mad here, but the comics take place eighteen months after the end of the series, and "Damage" took place about six months after the end of Buffy S7. THEREFORE, as far as I'm concerned, Xander-in-Africa is still a perfectly viable genre.
zanthinegirl From: zanthinegirl Date: April 9th, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ooh, that works for me, too! !
hesadevil From: hesadevil Date: April 9th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've decided to ignore the so-called Season 8 canon because it's a comic for goodness sake and is pandering to teenage boys and socially retarded adults.


A stupid idea that occurred to me during lunch.
Not so stupid. I'd go for another gnu - how about you?
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:05 am (UTC) (Link)
HERE is a wonderful drabble that explains the comics perfectly.
tessarin From: tessarin Date: April 9th, 2007 04:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Groan. That is one of those that is so bad its good.:-)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:06 am (UTC) (Link)
HERE is a wonderful drabble that explains the comics perfectly.

Thank you!
gillo From: gillo Date: April 9th, 2007 07:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh dear. I gnu that was coming but it still hit hard. Great stuff.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
From: ottawa_fan Date: April 9th, 2007 07:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Inspired as always!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
zanthinegirl From: zanthinegirl Date: April 9th, 2007 11:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Deeply cute!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
evilawyer From: evilawyer Date: April 10th, 2007 01:02 am (UTC) (Link)
**snork**
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
draconin From: draconin Date: April 10th, 2007 05:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Aaarrgh! ::Holds nose and runs screaming, giggling madly::
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ffutures From: ffutures Date: April 10th, 2007 01:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:09 am (UTC) (Link)
You gnu it would happen...
ozma914 From: ozma914 Date: April 11th, 2007 12:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Hee! I didn't see that coming at all! Good job!

And why couldn't Xander bee in both Africa and Scotland? In my fics, he takes trips between Africa and the Watcher's Headquarters in Chicago. (How it ended up in Chicago is another story.)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:10 am (UTC) (Link)
HERE is a wonderful drabble that explains the comics perfectly.

Thank you!
From: averageshmoe Date: April 11th, 2007 02:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Not gonna look . . not gonna look . . not gonna look.

Looked.

Ouch

pgavigan
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 15th, 2007 10:09 am (UTC) (Link)
You gnu it would be like that...
From: willa_writes Date: April 30th, 2007 10:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
*groannnnnnnn*

That went on for at least three syllables. You're good.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
31 comments or speak 2 me