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Happy Birthday Cass - and a drabble - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
Happy Birthday Cass - and a drabble

Happy birthday calove

I shall wish you this twice, for this is our way.

Happy birthday calove

Here is a drabble; this isn’t a birthday fic, although I hope Cass likes it. I was working out how to incorporate elements of the new revelations about the Season 8 comics into ‘Life, Resumed’, and musing about how Joss seems to have invalidated scores of fics about Xander in Africa, many of which (including, I would immodestly claim, my own ‘Lonely On The Mountain’) are among the best things ever written in the fandom, and suddenly this drabble forced itself upon me. 100 words, of course, and rated G.

The Last Kink of Scotland

Xander stared at the unbelievable monstrosity in front of him and shuddered. “Eww,” he groaned. “I thought I’d seem some pretty amazing stuff in Sunnydale. And in Africa, with the termites and the grubs and things. But, hey, this is just mind-blowing.”

“Come oan, gie it a try,” Aisleen urged him. “Ye dinnae ken whit ye’re missing.”

“Well, I coped with the Doublemeat Special, so, yeah, it can’t be worse than that,” Xander said. “But I can practically feel my arteries hardening just looking at it.” He gathered his nerve, opened his mouth, and bit into the deep-fried Mars bar.

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Current Music: Runrig, "Alba"

32 comments or speak 2 me
evilawyer From: evilawyer Date: March 4th, 2007 10:25 am (UTC) (Link)
I thought it might be haggis up until the last line, but you came up with something even grosser.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 4th, 2007 10:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Haggis isn't gross, it's wonderful!

And it wasn't me that came up with the deep-fried Mars bar, it was the Scots.
woman_of_ From: woman_of_ Date: March 4th, 2007 01:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, being a Scot who has never tied the delights of a deep fried Mars bar, I really feel for Xander here. At least they didn't try to get him on a haggis hunt!
gillo From: gillo Date: March 4th, 2007 01:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nice drabble. Did you know that American Mars Bars are like our Milky Ways, BTW? Useless information R Us...

Poor Xander!
weird_cowgirl From: weird_cowgirl Date: March 4th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
America don't have any candy named the Mars Bar anymore; it's been rebranded as Snickers Almond.

I've only eaten a deep-fried standard Snickers bar, but I thought it was DELICIOUS. But I was 16 at the time (I think, maybe 17) so of course I thought so.
lusciousxander From: lusciousxander Date: March 4th, 2007 02:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! That must have tasted awful. Cute little drabble.
ffutures From: ffutures Date: March 4th, 2007 03:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
From: averageshmoe Date: March 4th, 2007 03:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
A funny drabble made even more so by the fact that it is so accurate.

Americans will eat anything if you deep fry it and put it on a stick.

Last time I was at a fair there was a stand serving Deep Fried Twinkies and Snickers.

No, I didn't.


ps might have tried deep fried haggis.
curiouswombat From: curiouswombat Date: March 4th, 2007 03:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
When we lived in the North East most of the chip shops sold deep fried haggis - haggis and chips is actually a pretty good meal. Has about 2 million calories though!
From: averageshmoe Date: March 4th, 2007 03:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

By the way, don't worry about incorporating the Buffy comic into your fan fiction. Wheddon has admitted that he will toss all of it aside should he get a chance to do something live action again.

Yeah, Wheddon is writing fan fiction and may someday Joss himself.

shadowscast From: shadowscast Date: March 5th, 2007 12:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, Wheddon is writing fan fiction and may someday Joss himself.

Hee! And also, yes, that's exactly how I see it.
jamalov29 From: jamalov29 Date: March 4th, 2007 03:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh funny !
willowgreen From: willowgreen Date: March 4th, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have yet to try deep-fried Milky Ways or Mars Bars, but I have sampled deep-fried Twinkies and Oreos on the Beach Boardwalk in Santa Cruz. They're really quite delicious, in their own special revoltingly sugary-greasy way.
calove From: calove Date: March 4th, 2007 05:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Why, thank you! I like it very much indeed!

I did once try the famous deep-fried mars bar. Im my defence, it had been a long day of dull meetings in Glasgow which we celebrated the ending of with rather too many bevvies. But even in that state, have to say it was a waste of a good Mars bar...
enigmaticblues From: enigmaticblues Date: March 4th, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, there's just something about the very idea of a deep fried Mars bar that makes me shudder. Yuck.

And I'm with pgavigan. Fanfic writers have been getting Jossed for years. I'm used to it by now. ;)
ringthebells From: ringthebells Date: March 5th, 2007 12:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I had the opportunity to try that local delicacy while in Scotland a few years back, and I declined. (Also declined: deep-fried pizza!)

Otoh, I like haggis just fine. I don't know why it gets such a bad rep; it's no grosser in concept than sausages are!
From: arclevel Date: March 5th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC) (Link)
musing about how Joss seems to have invalidated scores of fics about Xander in Africa

See, this is one of the many reasons that I don't/will not consider the comics to be canon, Joss-written or no. As far as I'm concerned, if it ain't in one of the shows, it ain't canon. I do the same thing for Harry Potter and the things that JK Rowling says in interviews or on her website -- the books are canon, nothing else counts.
appomattoxco From: appomattoxco Date: March 5th, 2007 10:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Xander really has grown up and it's probably for the best health-wise. Season six Xander would love deep fried candy. Did you know that we've got fried pickles here? I can't even think of it.
lilred26x From: lilred26x Date: March 9th, 2007 05:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Very cute!
32 comments or speak 2 me