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Early birthday ficlet for Gillo - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Early birthday ficlet for Gillo
Here is an early birthday ficlet for gillo. I’m posting it today just in case tomorrow morning I stagger in from work, rush to put out the wheelie bin for collection, stagger back in, collapse into bed, and emerge in the evening sleepy and bleary-eyed just in time to rush out to work without posting.

This will be totally and utterly unintelligible to Americans, Chinese, Estonians, Australians, Germans – and indeed to anyone English from south of the Humber! talesofspike, calove, curiouswombat, and gillo herself are quite probably the only ones who will understand it. 200 word double drabble, PG-13. Set during ‘After Life’ in a ’verse where Buffy’s leap at the end of ‘The Gift’ had a slightly different outcome…


It Was A Big River


“I don’t get it,” Willow complained. “Buffy has been really weird since we brought her back. With, you know, the drinking, and the wearing of the teensy tiny skirts and tops even when it’s cold, and that totally strange accent.”

“Being in Hell can have a strange effect on a person,” Anya said, “although I must admit that I don’t know of any hell dimension that would have caused those particular changes.”

“Say, where is the Buffster anyway?” Xander wondered.

“She slipped out the back door,” Tara said. “I think w-we should just let her have some space.”

Outside in the alley Spike watched Buffy with concern in his eyes. “You okay, Slayer?”

“Why aye, man, ah’m fine, me,” Buffy told him.

“Something’s wrong, Slayer,” Spike said. “Want to tell me about it? I haven’t been in a hell dimension as of late, but I know a thing or two about torment.”

“Ye divvent think ah was in Hell, like?” Buffy rolled her eyes. “Why nee, man, ye’re deid wrong theor. Ah was happy, me. Aal the lads an’ lasses theor, aal with smilin’ faces. Nee bluidy way was ah in Hell, ye naa. Ah think ah was in Hebburn.”

Tags: , ,
Current Music: Jimmy Nail, "Big River"

43 comments or speak 2 me
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elisi From: elisi Date: December 5th, 2006 01:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Your brain is a strange and scary wonderful place!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
spikesdeb From: spikesdeb Date: December 5th, 2006 01:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Okay, now I can type without my shoulders jiggling up and down from the laughter...this is wonderful! 'Ah think I was in Hebburn'! *splutter*

Absolutely delicious. And she's hard, Buffy, you know....why aye. *giggles*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ringthebells From: ringthebells Date: December 5th, 2006 01:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee!

Thanks for the link at the end. That was helpful.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:11 am (UTC) (Link)
I forgot to include Canadians among the list of those who would be baffled - but it would have run from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe.
calove From: calove Date: December 5th, 2006 04:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh. Good. Grief.

Hee, hee! Fantastic.


Makes me quite homesick for the Big Market doon the toon on a Sataday neet.

Actually, come to think of it... not really....
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:11 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, hinny.
rahirah From: rahirah Date: December 5th, 2006 04:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
(blink)
gillo From: gillo Date: December 5th, 2006 06:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nay, bonny lass, divven't ye get it?

Poor thing. ::smirks::
frenchani From: frenchani Date: December 5th, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Since you didn't say that French wouldn't udnerstand it, I read it...out loud, and got it! lol

speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Glad you understood it!
hesadevil From: hesadevil Date: December 5th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
::Bows to the supreme Master:: That was wonderfuel, even without subtitles.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
gillo From: gillo Date: December 5th, 2006 06:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Aaa, me lad, ye should a seen her gannin'... You are wonderful! Thank you so much for this! I love the Geordie accent so much, and I love the thought of the bewilderment it will cause.

And tomorrow I'm at work from 8.30 am to 10.30 pm, so this is just perfect timing.

speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! Happy birthday hinny!
From: averageshmoe Date: December 5th, 2006 07:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Don't worry. With the way that you tell it and the link that you provide the joke travels really well.

By the way, The Joss Whedon written and supervised Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic book is going to be released starting in March and I just wanted to say one thing.

I would rather read anything you write about post 'Chosen' Buffy and crew over what Mr. Whedon will produce. I know you will challenge not only the characters but the readers as well. I'm afraid that Mr. Whedon is just too comfortable with where Buffy is at to rock the status quo.

pgavigan
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:16 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

Joss has a franchise to protect. He can't afford to have anything either too drastic or too happy ever after happen, whereas I can tell any story I feel like telling. Whether it is tragic or extremely silly.
frimfram From: frimfram Date: December 5th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Haddaway and shite, Spike pet.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:16 am (UTC) (Link)
Why aye ye bugger!
quinara From: quinara Date: December 5th, 2006 08:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Knew the Geordie, didn't know the town - still, HEE!
bogwitch From: bogwitch Date: December 5th, 2006 09:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Same here.

I want to see some more regional vampires. How great would a Georgie vampire be?
enigmaticblues From: enigmaticblues Date: December 5th, 2006 11:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! I actually got that. Good thing I have friends who know a thing or two about the North of England.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I wasn't expecting anyone in America to get it - glad you did.
diachrony From: diachrony Date: December 6th, 2006 01:25 am (UTC) (Link)
::boggles::

The idea of Buffy talking like that ... is providing me endless entertainment ... though I can't quite sustain the image!

Thanks for the link at the end, which makes all clear. :)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:22 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
talesofspike From: talesofspike Date: December 6th, 2006 07:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Shakes head and wants to hug you all at the same time... Almost makes me feel like I was back in the machine shop at Clarke-Chapman's.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Whenever we went South of the river on the Metro we would burst into song as it stopped at that station:

"Hebburn, I'm in Hebburn..."
ozma914 From: ozma914 Date: December 6th, 2006 09:27 am (UTC) (Link)

I'm an American ...

And yet I still laughed out loud ....
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: December 6th, 2006 11:26 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: I'm an American ...

I'm amazed but glad. Thank you!
43 comments or speak 2 me
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