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Drabble: Cosmetic Surgery - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Drabble: Cosmetic Surgery
I Am The Walrus has been nominated at the Love's Last Glimpse Awards as best Long Story, Comedy/Fluff, and Challenge Response. Thanks to whoever nominated me.

Voting is underway at the Spark and Burn Awards, where 'Tabula Avatar' is up for an award, but there's no point in my asking for your votes. It's not going to win anyway, not with the competition that it faces there, and the Non-Buffyverse Crossover category (where I think it stood a very good chance) didn't get enough nominations and has been carried over to the next round. However there are superb stories by some great writers – many of them on my F-list – nominated there and they probably would appreciate your votes. As would I, and others of my F-List, at the ongoing Twisting the Hellmouth Crossover Awards. I won't quote the URL for that as only existing TtH members can vote.

And, in other news, here is my second 200-word double drabble of the day, following (but completely unrelated to) Miss Marple versus Godzilla. This one is dark humour, NC-17 for gory character death – but hey, Joss assassinated the character first! Angel Season 4. Dedicated to, and inspired by, beer_good_foamy.


Cosmetic Surgery


The evil being occupying Cordelia’s body snarled in frustration. Angelus was gone, and Soul Boy was back, thanks to that interfering witch. She’d have to move on to the big revelation scene.

For maximum impact she should look at her best. Cordelia touched up her lipstick and then reached for another cosmetic. Damn, empty. Oh well, no big, Fred would have some.

- - - - -


A ghastly shriek of agony came from upstairs. The gang in the atrium of the Hyperion grabbed for weapons but before they could act a figure appeared on the stairs. Cordelia, screaming at the top of her voice, blood streaming down her face.

“Cordy!” Angel cried. He jumped towards her but collided with Connor and they sprawled on the ground.

Cordelia’s eye sockets were pools of blood. She missed a step and toppled the rest of the way down the flight. Her body landed at the foot of the stairs and lay still. Her bloody eyes stared sightlessly at the ceiling. Something fell from her hand and rolled across the floor.

Fred picked it up. “I warned Cordy not to steal my make-up,” she said, holding out the tiny wand for the others to see. “Texas Chainsaw Mascara.”

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36 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
woman_of_ From: woman_of_ Date: November 28th, 2006 07:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh Oh! That was painful, but brilliant. Gave me a laugh, but I do have a sick sense of humour.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 08:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
mymatedave From: mymatedave Date: November 28th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
*groan* How could you!?! Not Cordelia dying, but the pun, it's like a stake in my heart. *sigh* I suppose it could've been worse, don't see how, but...
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 08:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
It probably couldn't have been worse.

But if I ever think of anything worse you'll be among the first to know.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Expand
enigmaticblues From: enigmaticblues Date: November 28th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
*snort*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 08:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
*heh!*
bogwitch From: bogwitch Date: November 28th, 2006 08:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
I thought the lack of pun in the last one was too good to be true!

Vote for me to be 'Best New Author'!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 08:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Boggy, you know that I love you very dearly, but that is one category in which I'm definitely not going to vote for you.
gillo From: gillo Date: November 28th, 2006 08:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm wailing in agony here. Just when I think you can't outdo yourself you come up with something like this. Twisted genius!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 09:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
spikereader From: spikereader Date: November 28th, 2006 09:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
No!!!!! That'll teach me to be reading LJ instead of .... doing other things.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 09:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
::Cackles evilly and rubs hands together::
ffutures From: ffutures Date: November 28th, 2006 09:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bleurgh!!!

That was painful!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sorry! ::has fingers crossed::
fishsanwitt From: fishsanwitt Date: November 28th, 2006 10:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Congratulations on the nominations!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 10:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
zanthinegirl From: zanthinegirl Date: November 28th, 2006 10:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Note to self: put coffee down before reading speaker-fic!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 10:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
You should know better by now!
petzipellepingo From: petzipellepingo Date: November 28th, 2006 10:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Congratulations on all the nominations.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 28th, 2006 10:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
beer_good_foamy From: beer_good_foamy Date: November 28th, 2006 11:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh that was... BEAUTIFUL. Insane, but beautiful. Your pun drabbles sort of negate the whole good/bad/groan/laugh scale.

Congrats on the nominations, and thanks for the shout-out!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 29th, 2006 12:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I thought you'd like it.
adriana_is From: adriana_is Date: November 29th, 2006 03:40 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG...this one is also brilliant! How do you stay so inspired?
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 29th, 2006 03:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

If I knew I would... keep the secret to myself. But I don't know.
diachrony From: diachrony Date: November 29th, 2006 05:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Ow ow ow ow OWWWW OMG!!!!

The horror!!!


... And congrats on your nominations!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 29th, 2006 05:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Heh heh heh!

Thank you!
calove From: calove Date: November 29th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
HEEEE!

Well, it's good to know that, despite a two month absence from LJ, some things never change. And when it comes to your particular combination of imagination, writing skillz and appalling punery - thank heavens for that!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 29th, 2006 05:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! You have missed a lot, and you have been missed.
ozma914 From: ozma914 Date: November 30th, 2006 09:51 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, my -- that was the funniest thing I've read in a month. Of course, with my weakness for puns ...
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: November 30th, 2006 10:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

I would guess that it being Evil!Cordy who dies the horrible gory death probably doesn't hurt either.
36 comments or speak 2 me