Speaker-to-Customers (speakr2customrs) wrote,
Speaker-to-Customers
speakr2customrs

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With friends like these ...(who needs enemas?)

I was going to do the 'ships meme, but my answers were fairly boring and my additional three ships were unique to my own fics, so I gave up. Instead I'm giving you this.

Gacked from dodyskin, who gacked it from snowgrouse

Speculating on a day's worth of posts on my Flist. Caricatured, exaggerated, and affectionately over the top, of course. Intended to be funny not offensive. Of course my record on that score is a bit iffy, so if you are likely to be offended don't open the cut. And if you're not there don't be offended either, no way could I cover all of you, it doesn't mean I don't love you, just that I couldn't think of a suitable parody within the available time as I really must get on with "It's Got to be Perfect" and "The Immigrant Song".

Later: added another entry to the list, improved the styling.





theohara: Sweet Home Alabama Chapter One

Summary: what if Tara was the Vampire Slayer? And straight?

Teaser: "Hello, W-W-W-W-, uh, Spike. W-w-wh-what evil are you up t-to t-t-t-tonight?"

"Not a sodding thing, Slayer. Chip, remember? Just out for a walk. Wouldn't mind a spot of senseless violence before bedtime, though, luv. Wouldn't say no to joining you on patrol."

"Okay, W-W-William. You can w-w-w- keep an eye on my back."

"Would rather keep an eye on bits of you a bit lower down, pet."


Aktuelle Stimmung: perseverating
Aktuelle Musik: Another Danzig song


***


ffutures: The Key To Byzantium - XIII

"So the Watchers' Council has had previous contact with the Goa'uld?" Jack asked.

"Guess so," Willow confirmed. "We found records that had been taken as fiction, y'know, but Andrew, he's a direct descendant of H.G. Wells, provided some bits that made sense of them. There was this invasion in Yorkshire in 1883. The Council fought them with a steam-driven mechanical spider with quadruple Gatling gun mounts. Then these four vampires, Angelus, Darla, Drusilla, and William, ate the surviving Goa'uld by mistake. Are you sure Murray's not Jewish?"


***


c05mick1d: not that i'm obsessed with food but ...

painted the dining room today. walls vanilla, floor chocolate, ceiling rasberry, table maple. Nong got the brushes muddled and there is a big raspberry ripple in the middle of the vanilla. Kenji ran away and hid at the top of the tree again. had to tempt him down by painting the spare bedroom salmon, mouse, and chicken.

Current Mood: epicurean


***


bloodshedbaby: Halloween Trick or Freak part 27

"So, you ready to be deflowered yet, pet?" Spike panted.

"Maybe," Buffy breathed. "Only six more items of clothing to come off."

"You've already got your knickers off, pet, the rest can stay on while we shag."

"A gentleman would not 'shag' a lady in any state other than complete nakedness," Buffy said haughtily, a sudden flash of Elizabeth taking her over.

"News for you, luv. Not a gentleman. Was a sheriff in the Wild West, operative word being 'Wild'."

"Yeah, but, there's still a bit of UST we can wring out of this situation yet, and I - oh! What's that you're putting into me?"

"Well, it's going to go off in a minute, so you'd better hope it's not my six-shooter."

Current Mood: Teasing


***


theantijoss: 2,880 further reasons why Bush sucks

(3,000 paragraphs, incorporating 12 lj cuts, but still longer than 'War and Peace', and still only scratching the surface of why Bush sucks)

Current DSM IV Classification: democratic


***


spikewriter: Word of the day: Antidisestablishmentarianism.

Further ramifications of the Brother-in-Law's attempt to fix the blocked pipe have delayed me in updating 'Seven Years in the Desert', as it turned out his mechanical snake penetrated caverns deep within the Earth in which Arne Saknussen had been trapped for centuries. We now have an ancient Danish scientist in our kitchen, demanding that we explain what has happened in the world since his time, and eating all our pizza. He's a big improvement over Brother-in-Law. Here's the Word of the Day fic, set in the 'Life in Sunnydale' universe....

emotional state: speleological


***


agilebrit
Knocked off a quick fic while Hubby was doing his drag race. Started when he started, stopped when he crossed the line.

"Tragedy"

Buffy staked Angel by mistake.

The end.

Current Mood: accelerated.


***


mefnord: Party like it's 1999 luftballons

We had a gathering of family and friends. There was mefnord, himfnord, herfnord, dadfnord, mumfnord, cousinitfnord, theotherfnord, youfnord, blokenextdoorfnord, girlfromdownthestreetfnord, dogfnord, catfnord, walrusfnord, and Albert. We ate Czech sausage (so much better than sausage from other countries, such as Guatemala or Papua New Guinea, even Germany) and sauerkraut, and flew model Zeppelins. Invented by grafvonzeppelinfnord. Not to be confused with ledzeppelinfnord.

Current mood: happyfnord
Current music: Nena - 99 Luftballons


***


magic_wanderer: Rock the Tardis

Work sucks. Work really, really, sucks. I did my OU exam, went okay, I think. B'loved came round and we made sweet, passionate, love for five hours straight. I then watched 11 consecutive Dr. Who eps and got enough energy back to make sweet, passionate love for another five hours. Except that B'loved had gone home while I was on the fifth or sixth episode. Bugger. Work still sucks.

Current mood: frustrated.
Currently listening to/watching: Withnail and the Daleks


***


nihilistbear: Ranting for Canada

Dumb classmate ate one of the desks today. It was flat, and brown, so he thought it was a slice of bread. Was behind on an assignment so I handed in ten chapters of 'Under the Bridge'; have just heard that it's been awarded the Lumberjack Prize for Slash, winning me a lifetime's supply of maple syrup and ice hockey tickets.

Background Noise: Men Without Hats Greatest Hits volume 2,708


***


appomattoxco: Hide in plain sight

Current Mood: cheerful

My most recent wall-hanging is camouflage themed. I sold it a little while ago. Just found out that the woman who bought it has a soldier lover, and she got it so that he could hide quickly if her husband came home unexpectedly just by standing up against it and keeping very still. I've offered to make her a pink one in case he comes home unexpectedly at an even more embarrassing moment.

There's a plot bunny in there somewhere for 'Aren't You Grateful It's Not A Bunny', I'll get on with it later, just have to decide whether it will be Giles or Anya or both who does the hiding in plain sight.


***

kantayra: Coptic revelations

Did you know that in Coptic the letter 'q' can, depending on intonation, mean either "hey, those are my bullrushes!", "pass me another piece of papyrus, would you?", or "a swarm of ferocious flesh-eating scarab beetles are about to eat your leg"?

Current mood: esoteric
Current music: The Bangles, "Walk Like an Egyptian"


Tags: memes
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