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Drabble: Planet of the Trolls - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Drabble: Planet of the Trolls

Happy birthday to ayinhara and to kimbyann and to scarlettgirl



Here is yet another 'Where did Olaf the Troll go?' story. This one was originally posted on Greatest Journal only but I'm putting it up here too so that I can put them all together in Memories. 250 words. Crossover with the original 1968 version, starring Charlton Heston, of one of the classic science fiction movies.


Planet of the Trolls


Taylor knelt in the sand looking up at the remains of the Statue of Liberty and shouted out in anger. “You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!”

He heard a gasp of alarm from Nova and looked round. A strange figure was approaching. Not an ape, but not human either. Well over six feet tall, bulging with muscle, green of skin and with horns protruding from his head. The creature carried a massive wooden club in one huge hand.

“Hail, human,” the newcomer boomed. “By Odin, it is good to hear a human voice again, even if it is crying out to Hel in rage. I am Olaf, lord of the trolls, exiled here by a witch. What troubles you, stranger?”

“They blew up my world,” Taylor said, waving at the fallen statue. “Destroyed everything. Turned it into this nightmare place.”

Olaf frowned. “Nightmare place? Why, this is paradise! There are gorillas to fight, and it is joyous to smash the skulls of such worthy opponents. The orangutans are wise counsellors.” He leered at Nova. “There are pretty girls and, best of all, they do not nag. Life is good.”

“Life is good?” Taylor repeated. “But humans are slaves here!”

Olaf shrugged. “I am not human. I like it here. Although sometimes I miss the sound of a female voice. There have been times, when I was very drunk,” he confessed, “that I have made merry sport with the more attractive chimps.”

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19 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
quinara From: quinara Date: July 27th, 2006 02:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
That gets funnier every time... It's quite possibly funnier than the whole soul/sole gag you were into with Savage Beauty!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2006 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! Maybe I could find a way to combine the two...
hesadevil From: hesadevil Date: July 27th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Still funny on the repeat-reading.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2006 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ayinhara From: ayinhara Date: July 27th, 2006 07:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Love the ficlet, especially the droll title. Thanks for the birthday wishes.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2006 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
booster17 From: booster17 Date: July 27th, 2006 09:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm dreading what's coming next.... Babylon 5? The Muppets? The Smurfs?!?!!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2006 09:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, I was planning on the 1978 Robert Powell movie version of "The Thirty-Nine Steps", but now you come to mention it...
bogwitch From: bogwitch Date: July 27th, 2006 09:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
The mental picture is terrifing!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 28th, 2006 12:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry! But at least there weren't any tentacles - no, that's a down side for you, isn't it?
bogwitch From: bogwitch Date: July 28th, 2006 07:32 am (UTC) (Link)
:)
ringthebells From: ringthebells Date: July 28th, 2006 12:27 am (UTC) (Link)
So that's what would've happened if I'd stayed till the end of the credits for Planet of the Apes, eh?

Hee.

Been meaning to ask about your icon: is that Nice, France pictured there?
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 28th, 2006 12:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Yes, it is indeed Nice, France. You're the first person to have spotted that.
makd From: makd Date: July 28th, 2006 05:17 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, dear gods, but these are getting funnier and funnier! well-done, Man of Man... Jeesh! Now you've got me talking like Olaf.....;-)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 28th, 2006 06:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
lilred26x From: lilred26x Date: July 30th, 2006 04:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Olaf does like to make with the merry sport, doesn't he! :)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 30th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Of course!
cbtreks From: cbtreks Date: August 3rd, 2006 10:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
First penguins, now chimps.... Olaf certainly has, um, exotic tastes!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 4th, 2006 01:18 am (UTC) (Link)
As Stephen Stills said; "If you're not with the one you love, love the one you're with".
19 comments or speak 2 me