Speaker-to-Customers (speakr2customrs) wrote,

Happy Birthday Bogwitch!

Happy birthday to the adorable bogwitch

No birthday fic for you this year, I'm afraid; I would have made time, even in the middle of my ficathon assignment, but I haven't come up with any ideas at all as I've been too preoccupied with Xander in Malawi. I grovel in your general direction.

Meme (gacked from just about everybody)

10 ways that you can tell that a fic was written by Speaker-to-Customers

01) Willow is always a big fan of Blink 182.
02) I take it for granted that any mention of a walrus is intrinsically humorous.
03) Nobody uses the word "ponce". And Spike doesn't say 'luv', 'cor', or 'blimey' unless he's taking the piss.
04) If I refer to the score in a football match, it really was the score.
05) If the characters go to see a movie, it really was showing in cinemas at the relevant time.
06) The fight scenes are usually pretty good.
07) Spike may or may not be evil, but he'll always attach more importance to love, sex, friendship and material possessions than to any abstract concept of Good versus Evil, and will be willing to do good if it will get him what he wants. And in my stories it usually does.
08) Harmony hero-worships Angel and will be loyal to the end if he has confidence in her. Or even if he doesn't, if she thinks that she can prove to him that he should have done.
09) Vampire semen is translucent and colourless. Although as I usually fade-to-black for sex scenes this doesn't crop up often.
10) Male characters who are not canonically gay will have absolutely zero interest in each other in any sexual way unless they've been stuck for three months in a broken-down submarine on the floor of the Atlantic Ocean and they've read absolutely everything on board forty times and totally exhausted the possibilities of "I Spy" and "Twenty Questions". And even then they'll have to close their eyes and think of girls to be able to get it up.

Tags: birthday wishes, birthdays, memes
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