Henrik Ibsen, Morten Harket, Edvard Munch, Edvard Grieg, Trygve Lie, Ole Gunnar Solskjær, Kjetil Aamodt, Sonja Henie, Trude Mostue, Fridtjof Nansen, Gro Harlem Brundtland, Erna Solberg… Can you hear me Erna Solberg? Your girls took a hell of a beating! Your girls took a hell of a beating!
...fanfic writers who describe characters as 'viscous killers' or who refer to someone smiling a 'viscous smile' would be thrown into a swimming pool filled with treacle.
And those who refer to 'lightening bolts' would be pumped full of helium.
Did anyone else watch 'Blue Planet 2', see the 'Bobbit' metre-long carnivorous worm, and think "Even that would be a better mother than Molly Weasley"? The episode was full of creatures more intelligent than Arthur Weasley, too, and I don't just mean the cuttlefish and the octopus; even the microscopic algae inside the coral polyps would have superior intelligence and a greater understanding of Muggle technology.
any fanfic author who uses 'hoard' to describe a large throng of people, or 'horde' to describe a store of money or treasure, would be sentenced to be pursued across the Mongolian steppe by thirty thousand Mongol warriors armed with composite bows.
...I would make it a death penalty offence to write 'with baited breath' in a fanfic.
2016 has been a horrible year. Brexit. Trump. And the death list of Bowie, Prince, Keith Emerson, Greg Lake, Leonard Cohen, Glen Frey, Rick Parfitt, Christina Grimmie, Chyna, Alan Rickman, Victoria Wood, Gene Wilder, Kenny Baker, Robert Vaughn... I have my fingers crossed for Carrie Fisher.
Music this year has hit a new low; other than Passenger and Christine and the Queens everything I've heard has been appalling. And Louise didn't win Strictly.
But at long last there has been something to smile about. The Last Dragonslayer on Sky 1. Very much in the same style as their adaptations of Terry Pratchett's works but better (and blessedly free of David Jason). Jennifer Strange is my new heroine.
Was the Trump campaign speechwriter who wrote the speech for Melania Trump and 'borrowed' extensively from Michelle Obama and Rick Astley...
...Cassie Claire/Cassandra Clare?
Hergé, René Magritte, Thierry Boutsen, Adolphe Sax, Jacky Ickx, Eddy Merckx, Kim Huybrechts, Jean-Claude Van Damme… your boys took one Hell of a beating! Can you hear me, King Philippe? Your boys took one Hell of a beating!
The Wombat lived in Wales as a child – her sister was actually born there – and the heroine of the story I'm currently posting at the Pit of Voles is Welsh, and so we are claiming honorary Welsh status tonight.
I propose another UK referendum on a different but related subject.
"Should all Old Etonians be rounded up and exiled to Ascension Island? Yes/No."
The Isle of Man is not part of the UK, nor even of the EU, and I didn't get a vote in the referendum. So I'm not going to comment about the result except to say one thing.
This conclusively proves that David Cameron is the stupidest person ever to have been UK Prime Minister.