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Drabble: Size Matters Not - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Drabble: Size Matters Not
There's a story at Twisting the Hellmouth called 'Five times Dawn and Sam had hot, dirty sex (and one time they didn't)'. Apparently it's a 'Supernatural' crossover but I have zero interest in 'Supernatural' and so I haven't read it. However to me 'Sam' automatically means one of several far more famous fictional characters and therefore, on seeing the title, I jumped to some rather different conclusions. This is the first of a series of 6 drabbles based on my erroneous assumptions. 100 words, rating R or maybe NC-17.


Five times Dawn and Sam had hot, dirty, sex... and one time they didn't.


1: Size Matters Not


Dawn sank down from her knees and then rolled over onto her back. She reached up her arms and pulled her lover down to lie beside her. His head rested on her breasts, in the perfect position for some post-coital licking and nibbling of nipples, and his toes brushed against her knees.

“That was pretty damn good, Sam,” she said, once she had regained her breath sufficiently for coherent speech, “but why do you always have to finish off with anal?”

Sam blushed. “Sorry, Mistress Dawn,” he said. “I got used to it while I was with Master Frodo.”

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30 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
petzipellepingo From: petzipellepingo Date: July 26th, 2011 03:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bwah! Has your wife seen this...
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 26th, 2011 03:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! Yes, she has seen it.
jedibuttercup From: jedibuttercup Date: July 26th, 2011 03:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
*facepalm* Hee.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 26th, 2011 03:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
slaymesoftly From: slaymesoftly Date: July 26th, 2011 03:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
*snort, snerk, bwahaha*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 26th, 2011 03:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ffutures From: ffutures Date: July 26th, 2011 04:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bad Speaker, no biscuit!

ROFLMA, of course...
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 26th, 2011 05:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
altyronsmaker From: altyronsmaker Date: July 26th, 2011 04:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ah my eyes! LOL!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 26th, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heh! Thank you!
vikingprincess From: vikingprincess Date: July 26th, 2011 04:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Somehow, I had a feeling this particular Sam would be your first choice! Also, I am extremely amused by the final sentence.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 26th, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
shaddyr From: shaddyr Date: July 26th, 2011 04:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 26th, 2011 05:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
beer_good_foamy From: beer_good_foamy Date: July 26th, 2011 05:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Precioussss.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 26th, 2011 06:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
willowgreen From: willowgreen Date: July 26th, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
That is just. so. wrong.

And hilarious.

Ew.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2011 10:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
jay_of_lasgalen From: jay_of_lasgalen Date: July 26th, 2011 09:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! Yes, that's the same 'Sam' I thought of too :>)

speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2011 10:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
The most famous Sam in fiction, probably.
cbtreks From: cbtreks Date: July 27th, 2011 12:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Ha! Can't wait to see who the other 4 Sams are. (I dearly hope one isn't "Uncle.")
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2011 12:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! No, it's not Uncle Sam and (despite me being briefly tempted) it's not Sam the American Eagle either.
souloftherose From: souloftherose Date: July 27th, 2011 06:18 am (UTC) (Link)
ACK! Good one :p
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2011 12:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
evilawyer From: evilawyer Date: July 27th, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Now I'm envisions furry feet. Doing things. Very fun.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 27th, 2011 10:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
anviloverheaven From: anviloverheaven Date: July 29th, 2011 02:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh dear lord!!

At some point today I hope to have that mental image scrubbed from my mind (all the snorting and giggling's making people look at me kind of funny) :)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: July 29th, 2011 07:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Sex with halflings can be hobbit-forming.
ayinhara From: ayinhara Date: July 29th, 2011 10:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love puns.
thismaz From: thismaz Date: August 12th, 2011 08:20 am (UTC) (Link)
*laughs* his toes brushed against her knees.
Wonderful.
30 comments or speak 2 me