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My Last Qwa’ha Xahn Was Taller 5: The Wee Free God-King - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
My Last Qwa’ha Xahn Was Taller 5: The Wee Free God-King
Here is the final part in my five drabble series ‘My Last Qwa'ha Xahn Was Taller’, from a ‘Twisting the Hellmouth’ challenge, in which Illyria seeks a replacement for Wesley from the most inappropriate fandoms possible. This time it’s an AtS/Discworld crossover. Previous parts are HERE. G, 100 words.


The Wee Free God-King

“Weel, ye’re nae a hag, or a kelda,” Rob Anybody said, “but ye’re a bonnie color, ye ken, an’ ye’re a dab hand at snafflin’ coobeasties.”

“You have a refreshing attitude to violence,” Illyria responded, “and you are remarkably formidable for your size. I am impressed. I believe that you will make a satisfactory Qwa'ha Xahn.”

“Aye,” said Rob Anybody. “We’ll gie yon Wolfram an’ Hart a guid kickin’ for ye, Mistress.”

“Indeed,” said Illyria, “and I shall never again use ‘like offal in my mouth’ as a pejorative now that you have introduced me to the delights of ‘haggis’.”

Tags: ,
Current Location: Discworld
Current Music: Runrig, "Alba"

30 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
gillo From: gillo Date: March 28th, 2009 07:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, of course they'd make good back-up for Illyria - though not overly controllable. W&H would not stand a chance!

Nice.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 28th, 2009 09:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
They can tak' oor lives, but they cannae tak' oor troosers! Thank ye!
appomattoxco From: appomattoxco Date: March 28th, 2009 07:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
:D
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 28th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
There can only be one t'ousand!
ffutures From: ffutures Date: March 28th, 2009 08:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yay! And if they need a hag there's always Willow...
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 28th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! The Nac Mac Feegle are, of course, the natural enemies of Wolfram and Hart; their swords glow blue in the presence of Lawyers.
wildecate From: wildecate Date: March 28th, 2009 08:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
If you don't mind I will treat this as a birthday present because it's my birthday tomorrow and I can't think of a fic I would rather have read more!!! FANTASTIC!!!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 28th, 2009 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

If I'd known about your birthday I'd have delayed it a day - you don't have your birthdate on your user profile.
deird1 From: deird1 Date: March 28th, 2009 08:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Illyria probably would get on quite well with the Wee Free Men...
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 28th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
They both wish to do more violence - all the time, in the case of the Nac Mac Feegle - and the Wee Free Men are the natural enemies of Wolfram and Hart; their swords glow blue in the presence of Lawyers.
sammywol From: sammywol Date: March 29th, 2009 07:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Nae King! Nae Laird! Nae Shelled Owd Wans! We'll nae be fuled agin!

Actually this could really be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 29th, 2009 10:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Both blue, both want to dae mair violence, both hate lawyers. Aye, they'll be a bonnie team.
sammywol From: sammywol Date: March 30th, 2009 07:36 am (UTC) (Link)
I want to see them meet Angel. 'Crivens! what a scunner! Stitch this fangface!'
cat63 From: cat63 Date: March 29th, 2009 12:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Brilliant. I almost feel sorry for Wolfram and Hart. Almost :-)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 29th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! Ye cannae feel sorry for thae scunners; they're lawyers.
daibhid_c From: daibhid_c Date: March 29th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Pure dead brilliant, so it is.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 29th, 2009 04:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
weird_cowgirl From: weird_cowgirl Date: March 29th, 2009 05:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love Rob Anybody so very much.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 29th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Me too, which is why he's the last, and the most successful, Qwa'ha Xahn in the series.
evilawyer From: evilawyer Date: March 30th, 2009 04:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Illyria learns the finer points of grody foods. Funny!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 30th, 2009 09:17 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you - but haggis isn't grody! It is absolutely delicious; there is very little on Earth that can compare.
ozma914 From: ozma914 Date: March 30th, 2009 06:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Classic.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 30th, 2009 09:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
alaimacerc From: alaimacerc Date: March 31st, 2009 01:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Is that the Big Wee Free, the Wee Wee Free, or the United Wee Free? :)

Calvinist cladistics aside, hilarious stuff...
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: March 31st, 2009 09:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Ah'll leave the religulous stuff tae the minister, forbye.

Thank you!
brunettepet From: brunettepet Date: April 2nd, 2009 05:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Rob Anybody is a perfect fit for the job, and his ye’re a bonnie color... made me laugh out loud.

Haggis!

This series was delightfully absurd and lots of fun.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 2nd, 2009 05:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
basilio_the_cat From: basilio_the_cat Date: April 7th, 2009 05:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
EEK!

*falls over from too much excitement*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 7th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 11th, 2010 08:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
30 comments or speak 2 me