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Drabble: They're taking the hobbits to... Iowa? - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Drabble: They're taking the hobbits to... Iowa?
Season 8 is getting so utterly ridiculous that it’s hard to outdo it. This is the worst I’ve been able to come up with. An idiotic drabble set during the Season 6 episode ‘As You Were’. 100 words, Riley/Sam.

They’re taking the hobbits to… Iowa?


Buffy rappelled down the wall of the dam, parallel with Riley, and at the bottom found what she at first took to be a child engaged in combat against a Suvolte demon. The tiny figure, only three feet tall but plump, wielded a short sword with deadly effect. The demon collapsed, bleeding, and expired with a final cry of “Stupid fat hobbit!”

Buffy stared at the little man. He had sideburns, and so obviously wasn’t a child, and his feet were bare and remarkably hairy. “Who’s this?”

Riley grinned. “Buffy, I’d like you to meet my civil partner, Sam. Gamgee.”

Tags:
Current Music: Erwin Beekveld, "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard"

22 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
danel4d From: danel4d Date: February 6th, 2009 01:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hah! What's the latest nonsense in Season 8, anyway? I haven't been keeping up.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: February 6th, 2009 01:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Don't even ask. Really. To quote Shakespeare...

"...it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
2maggie2 From: 2maggie2 Date: February 6th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
I do have to be a bit snarky and point out that the tale Macbeth was talking about is life, and let you work out what that analogy says about Joss.
bogwitch From: bogwitch Date: February 6th, 2009 01:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee!

He'll be faithful at least.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: February 7th, 2009 09:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Unless Master Frodo turns up.
ffutures From: ffutures Date: February 6th, 2009 02:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Not even going to ask - I'm about four issues behind.
gillo From: gillo Date: February 6th, 2009 02:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Makes sense to me. At least more than what I've seen of S8 does.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: February 7th, 2009 09:25 am (UTC) (Link)
The cat walking over the keyboard makes more sense than S8 does these days. And the cat walking over the keyboard with Paint open draws better than Georges Jeanty.
quinara From: quinara Date: February 6th, 2009 03:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee!! Though seeing as I reckon Riley would be terribly traditional about these things, does this mean Riley took Sam's name?

(Also - I alas do think that this is still less cracky than S8. After all, Riley clearly has a thing for people comically shorter than himself. :P)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: February 7th, 2009 09:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Riley's short person fetish certainly explains what he saw in Buffy.
sammywol From: sammywol Date: February 6th, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heh! I can so see Sam topping Riley.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: February 7th, 2009 09:29 am (UTC) (Link)
And then sharing a pipe of Longbottom Leaf afterwards.
sammywol From: sammywol Date: February 7th, 2009 10:19 am (UTC) (Link)
OK, am forcibly turning my mind's eye OFF. This is turning into a damn soap opera of Riley's morning exercises and Sam's cooking.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: February 7th, 2009 10:22 am (UTC) (Link)
"I'll make you tasty fish and chips, Master Riley, made with the Gaffer's tatties, you can't get better than that. Nothing like it to set you up for a night being shagged by a hobbit, as Master Frodo always used to say."
sammywol From: sammywol Date: February 9th, 2009 10:48 am (UTC) (Link)
"give shag now! and keep nassssty chipsssss!"
deird1 From: deird1 Date: February 6th, 2009 07:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Fun!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: February 7th, 2009 09:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
confusedkayt From: confusedkayt Date: February 7th, 2009 12:51 am (UTC) (Link)
I should know better than to read your drabbles while drinking water by now. :P
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: February 7th, 2009 09:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Better water than Coke.
ozma914 From: ozma914 Date: February 7th, 2009 07:08 am (UTC) (Link)
They've got a heighth difference to deal with!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: February 7th, 2009 09:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Buffy without her heels is only slightly taller than Sam.
ozma914 From: ozma914 Date: February 7th, 2009 09:32 am (UTC) (Link)
Good point ...
22 comments or speak 2 me