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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
The good: yesterday I discovered Fever Beats by Thea Gilmore. Only six years after it was released but better late than never.

The bad: I read (courtesy of a good Friend, no way would I pay for it) Buffy Season 8 issue 13. As usual it filled me with an intense hatred of Buffy. This does make it rather difficult for me to get on with writing Buffy-centric stories. It didn’t even contain any useful plot hooks for Giant!Dawn crackfic. Really the whole thing was crackfic, or even badfic, and it’s very hard to parody utter drivel.

The ugly: In order to cure my Buffy-hatred I went to Just Rewards and read some classic Spuffy fics. Unfortunately I’d had a reading spree recently in which I’d re-read all of Enigmatic Blue’s, Barb’s, Tales of Spike’s and a few other favourite authors' stories; I had to fall back on some fics by writers who are rather less skillful. I kept being jerked out of the mood by sloppy word usage. ‘Loose’ for ‘lose’, ‘loathe’ for ‘loath’ and vice versa, and one I had never seen before and which totally cracked me up; ‘in loo of’ for ‘in lieu of’. One perennial error inspired me to write the following drabble set at the end of ‘Not Fade Away’...

The Last Hurrah of the Golden... Handshake?


The e-mail was flagged as ‘urgent’ and came from the Senior Partners. Grazz’durtak, demon administrator, opened it immediately and read the message.

‘Renegade Los Angeles CEO Angel is in the alley behind the Hyperion Hotel. Send a demon hoard.’

Grazz’durtak frowned. Strange. Still, his not to reason why...

- - - - -


The rain poured down on the bedraggled band as they stared at the hoard.

“Okay,” said Gunn, “you take the thirty thousand on the left.”

“I had hoped to do more violence,” said Illyria, scooping up gold coins and gems, “but this tribute is... acceptable.”

- - - - -


“‘Hoard’? It was supposed to say ‘horde’!”

Tags: , , , ,
Current Location: The alley behind the Hyperion Hotel
Current Music: Thea Gilmore, "Fever Beats"

84 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
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syderia From: syderia Date: April 4th, 2008 11:24 am (UTC) (Link)
*snickers*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 11:28 am (UTC) (Link)
That has to set some sort of record for quickest response ever!

Thank you.
gillo From: gillo Date: April 4th, 2008 11:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh yes. I hate that one with a passion. Along with "breath" for "breathe".

And yes, Illyria would find it acceptable.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

'Cannon' for 'canon' is another one; but at least that one gave me the material for at least a dozen puns in 'Dojo Hard'.
ffutures From: ffutures Date: April 4th, 2008 11:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Nice one!

The one that always cracks me up is "Los Angelus"
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

I see some horrible spelling mistakes at work when I'm signing off International Money Transfers. I can forgive people for misspelling 'Kyrgyzstan' etc., but many of our staff can't spell 'Australia' or 'Belgium'. I've even seen 'Spain' and 'New York' spelled incorrectly!

The record has to go, however, to the person who typed the full name of NatWest as 'National Wesminserer'. Or perhaps to the people who can't spell the bank they work for and put us down as 'Lyods TSB'.
beer_good_foamy From: beer_good_foamy Date: April 4th, 2008 11:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Bwahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
petzipellepingo From: petzipellepingo Date: April 4th, 2008 11:48 am (UTC) (Link)
Bwah! And, IMO, just one more reason why people (aka young people) can't always depend on Spell Check. Pick up a dictionary folks!

Edited at 2008-04-04 11:49 am (UTC)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

Some people can't spell well enough to use a dictionary; and people who don't know that they're using the wrong homophone won't think to look it up anyway.
paratti From: paratti Date: April 4th, 2008 11:58 am (UTC) (Link)
Snerk:)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
caliente_uk From: caliente_uk Date: April 4th, 2008 12:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! :D
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
frenchani From: frenchani Date: April 4th, 2008 12:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL

BTW I didn't know the word "hoard" and had to look it up.

and one I had never seen before and which totally cracked me up; ‘in loo of’ for ‘in lieu of’

Now that is hilarious!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

The author who used 'in loo of' is well known for refusing to accept any criticism of her word usage and throwing a hissy fit if anyone dares to correct her.
woman_of_ From: woman_of_ Date: April 4th, 2008 12:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
LMAO
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ringthebells From: ringthebells Date: April 4th, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
deird1 From: deird1 Date: April 4th, 2008 12:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Very clever!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
tessarin From: tessarin Date: April 4th, 2008 01:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
Very amusing.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
manoah From: manoah Date: April 4th, 2008 02:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Excellent.

I'm sure I've missed many an interesting plot line or idea by virtue of the fact that I just couldn't handle the poor spelling/grammar. Spell check is only your friend if you actually know how to spell. Just sayin'.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

I am always put off if there is a spelling mistake in the title or summary. Sometimes I'll start reading the fics anyway, because occasionally I will use a dialect variant spelling or a pun in one of my titles and so I'll give other authors the benefit of the doubt if possible, but inevitably it turns out that it's just the first of so many errors that the story becomes unreadable.
shallanelprin From: shallanelprin Date: April 4th, 2008 03:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee. Very cute.

'In loo of' for 'in lieu of'—seriously? That's hilarious. I hate the way bad grammar really throws you out of a story. Although I think the 'loathe' vs 'loath' is British vs American spelling, which makes both technically correct. I could be wrong on that.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

The person who used 'in loo of' is notorious for refusing to accept any corrections of her errors.

I'm afraid that you are wrong; the British and American spellings of 'loath' and 'loathe' are identical. 'Loath' is an adjective meaning 'reluctant' or 'unwilling'; 'loathe' is a verb meaning 'despise' or 'hate intensely'. An example would be "Buffy claimed to loathe Spike, but Spike was loath to accept that she meant it".
molliemole From: molliemole Date: April 4th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Love this. Do you ever take requests? One of my personal favorites is "And so, without further adieu..." I swear I've actually seen this.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: April 4th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

I could probably (with a struggle) come up with a scene in which 'and so, without further adieu' was correct usage. It would have to involve one of the Musketeers bidding his lady adieu several times without actually departing, a company of the Cardinal's Guard charging in with drawn rapiers, and Athos or Aramis then leaving hastily without further adieu... Perhaps entitled 'Much Adieu About Nothing'.

Edited at 2008-04-04 03:46 pm (UTC)
84 comments or speak 2 me
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