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For A Few Olafs More... - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
For A Few Olafs More...
Here is a return to my series of Where did Olaf the Troll go? ficlets in answer to a challenge at ‘Twisting The Hellmouth’. A sequel to A Fistful of Trolls. 500 words.


For A Few Olafs More


Colonel Mortimer puffed on his meerschaum pipe and squinted at the two bounty hunters. “El Indio is mine,” he told them. “When two hunters go after the same prey, they usually end up shooting each other in the back. And we don’t want to shoot each other in the back.”

“I wouldn’t advise shooting Olaf in the back,” the Man With No Name warned. “That would just make him mad.”

Mortimer raised an eyebrow. “He’s that tough?”

“I am, eagle-nosed one,” Olaf boomed. “Mightiest of all the trolls.”

“Like I said, we don’t want to shoot each other in the back,” Colonel Mortimer repeated. “Maybe we should work out some kind of compromise.”

The Man With No Name raised an eyebrow in his turn. “Compromise? Share the bounties?”

“Something like that,” Mortimer said. “Indio is mine. That’s not negotiable. But you two could have the bounties on the rest of the gang. Groggy, the Hunchback, Nino, Slim, and the others.”

“Maybe,” the Man With No Name mused. His left hand dipped inside his serape and emerged holding a thin cheroot. He placed it in his mouth, took out a match, and struck it on the railroad workers’ hammer that Olaf was holding. The bounty hunter lit the cheroot and drew on it deeply and then blew out a cloud of blue smoke. “To catch the whole gang, down to the last hombre, we’d need to know exactly where they’re going to be so we can catch them in an ambush,” he said. “What we need is somebody on the inside.” His forehead creased. “Wait a minute. I remember now. Groggy’s already in prison.”

“We could get him out,” Olaf suggested, twirling the enormous hammer between his fingers like a pencil.

“That would be a pretty good way of getting somebody on the inside of Indio’s gang,” Colonel Mortimer agreed. “If he turned up with Indio’s amigo Groggy in tow Indio would greet him with open arms.”

“He?” queried the Man With No Name. “Why shouldn’t it be you?”

“I’ve crossed swords with the Hunchback already,” Mortimer told him. “I’d have to kill him and that would spoil the welcome party more than somewhat.”

“Good point,” the Man With No Name conceded. “So that means it’s either me, or Olaf. Now, which one of us would best suit the part of a bandito?”

- - - - -


“Ho, puny banditos,” Olaf boomed. “I bring your good amigo Groggy, freed from prison by my mighty hammer, and I come to join your band. The gringos will do well to flee from our wrath. We shall pillage their ranches and dwellings, rob their banks, rustle their cattle, and make merry sport with saloon girls and black-eyed senoritas.”

El Indio looked at the huge troll. His eyes widened as he took in the green skin and the horns. He took the marijuana cigarette from his mouth, looked at it, and then looked back at Olaf. “I theenk,” Indio said slowly, “I have to give up the funny cigarettes.”

Tags: ,
Current Mood: tired tired
Current Music: Soundtrack music by Ennio Morricone

16 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
beer_good_foamy From: beer_good_foamy Date: October 27th, 2006 01:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Somehow I don't think the movie would have been quite as atmospheric and suspenseful with Olaf in it. It definitely would have been funnier, though, even if I'm not sure having Olaf do the undercover work is the best idea. I can just see Olaf picking Klaus Kinski up by his hump, proclaiming him small and toylike. Loved this.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 30th, 2006 01:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
hesadevil From: hesadevil Date: October 27th, 2006 02:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
More Olafs. Yay!

And MWNN - bonus!

speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 30th, 2006 01:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ffutures From: ffutures Date: October 27th, 2006 03:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
“I theenk,” Indio said slowly, “I have to give up the funny cigarettes.”

I theenk he isn't the only one...

Lovely, as always.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 30th, 2006 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
miriya_2099 From: miriya_2099 Date: October 27th, 2006 04:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Love it!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 30th, 2006 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
woman_of_ From: woman_of_ Date: October 27th, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh Olaf would make mincemeat of them, but what a fun film it would've made, even if it only lasted 1/2 hour!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 30th, 2006 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ozma914 From: ozma914 Date: October 27th, 2006 07:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
One of my favorite westerns, ruined for me forever. Well worth it!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 30th, 2006 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
gillo From: gillo Date: October 27th, 2006 11:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love the punchline - and it's great to see more Olaf!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 30th, 2006 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
timeofchange From: timeofchange Date: October 28th, 2006 11:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Hee.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: October 30th, 2006 01:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
16 comments or speak 2 me