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Ficlet: The Tale of Xander's Tool - Words in the Heroes' Tongue
I have a variable-sword. I urge calm.
speakr2customrs
speakr2customrs
Ficlet: The Tale of Xander's Tool
I should have been doing something productive but I did this instead. I had thought of doing an entry for a certain Challenge, although I’m not part of the relevant community and I only know about the challenge through spikendru’s response to it, but I got it twisted around somehow. 500 words, groan warning, and you’ll probably hate me for it. Takes place during S5 ‘Shadow’.


The Tale of Xander’s Tool


Dawn’s shriek of terror was still ringing in everyone’s ears as Buffy pushed away the fallen display case and rose to her feet. Glory’s Sobekian Cobra demon had already turned and slithered out of the shop.

“Why was the big snake afraid of Dawn?” Willow wondered.

Giles rushed to Buffy’s side. “Are you all right?” he asked.

Buffy looked at Dawn and then at the destruction left by the snake. “Giles, it knows,” she hissed. “I have to kill it.” She moved towards the door.

“Buffy, take a weapon,” Giles urged her.

“No time,” Buffy called back. She snatched up Xander’s tool box. “There should be something sharp in here,” she said, and ran from the shop.

“Hey, take good care of my tools,” Xander yelled after her. “I want them all back, you hear?” There was no answer. He shook his head and began to assist with clearing up the debris.

Giles ran out after Buffy and went to get his car. He caught up with her after a block, and pulled up to give her a ride, and then accelerated away in pursuit of the gigantic serpent. The snake was extremely fast but he managed to keep it in sight until it left the road and headed off across an expanse of grass and trees.

Buffy jumped out of the car, still holding Xander’s toolbox, and pursued the creature over the grass. She had the edge over the rough terrain and the gap grew smaller. Eventually she overtook it, jumped up onto a rock, and from there she leaped onto the demon’s neck.

She battered the huge snake with the toolbox until it came open and then she grabbed the first tool that came to hand and used it to smite the snake repeatedly. The tool had only a very small blade but was heavy and served her well as a bludgeon. The snake sagged under the impacts and its head lowered to rest upon the ground. Buffy delivered a couple more blows and then she paused to search for a more effective weapon.

Suddenly the snake reared up again, apparently revitalized, and opened its fanged maw wide. By this time, however, Buffy had laid her hands on a far more deadly weapon, and she discarded the wood-smoothing tool and struck with a chisel. The razor-sharp blade penetrated deep into the serpent’s body and reached a vital organ. It collapsed again and this time lay still.

Buffy wiped her hands and looked around. Xander’s toolbox lay on its side and the contents were scattered on and around the giant snake. Buffy sighed and began to gather them up.

“Thanks for the loan,” Buffy told Xander, as she returned the toolbox to him.

“No problemo, Buffster,” Xander grinned. “As long as I get them all back, it’s good.” He opened the box and checked the contents. “Hey!” he complained. “There’s one tool missing.”

Buffy raised a hand and smacked her forehead. “Sorry, Xander,” she apologized. “Your plane’s on a snake.”

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54 comments or speak 2 me
Comments
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adriana_is From: adriana_is Date: August 12th, 2006 03:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Points to icon...

Massive groaning but I could never hate you!

Thanks for the smile!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
diachrony From: diachrony Date: August 12th, 2006 03:36 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG ouch bwahahahaaaaaa ... ::groan:: :D

::continues snickering::

speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ozma914 From: ozma914 Date: August 12th, 2006 03:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Groan .... :D
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Heh!
nisie From: nisie Date: August 12th, 2006 03:43 am (UTC) (Link)
That was a good laugh!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
woman_of_ From: woman_of_ Date: August 12th, 2006 04:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Great manipulation! Well done.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ayinhara From: ayinhara Date: August 12th, 2006 04:44 am (UTC) (Link)
I couldn't imagine what the punch line would be re: tools. But you did it! Yes, indeedy.
ayinhara From: ayinhara Date: August 12th, 2006 02:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
I only found out today that Snakes on a Plane is a real movie scheduled to open Aug. 15th. It sounds simply dreadful. Now I appreciate your pun even more.
rahirah From: rahirah Date: August 12th, 2006 04:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Owwwwww!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Heh!
willowgreen From: willowgreen Date: August 12th, 2006 05:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Argh!

I shrieked so loud at the last line, my husband came to see if something was the matter. :-)
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry! :-)
From: averageshmoe Date: August 12th, 2006 05:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't.

Ibilis, once the first servant of Allah and now his greatest foe had arisen from his fiery prison. The Arch Demon Lord had brought with him the Ghoulahs and Shayatins to wreck havoc on the land. They attempted to slaughter the leaders of the Middle East, but the intervention of the Watcher's Council had evacuated the intended victims to a place where the demonic hordes could not follow, the great prairie state of Oklahoma.

In his office Giles awaited word on the fate of the last plane to depart Riyadh. He answered the phone on the first ring then turned to share the good news with those around him.

"The Sheiks are on the plain."

Forgive me.

By the way, did you mean to make me think of all the implications that the title of this story provoked or do I just have a dirty mind.

pgavigan
curiouswombat From: curiouswombat Date: August 12th, 2006 06:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
did you mean to make me think of all the implications that the title of this story provoked

You and me both!
zanthinegirl From: zanthinegirl Date: August 12th, 2006 06:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Bwaa-ha-ha! I did see it coming with "tool", but still!
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
ffutures From: ffutures Date: August 12th, 2006 09:12 am (UTC) (Link)
I just snorted toast all over my keyboard. Lovely!
fiareynne From: fiareynne Date: August 13th, 2006 12:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Your icon wins the internets.
quinara From: quinara Date: August 12th, 2006 12:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
*shakes head*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:30 am (UTC) (Link)
I warned you...
bogwitch From: bogwitch Date: August 12th, 2006 01:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Don't all your stories come with a groan warning?

::groan::
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:46 am (UTC) (Link)
Not all of them. I can think of at least 3 that don't. Out of, uh, how many?
From: elagee Date: August 12th, 2006 06:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Snerk.
Thanks for posting this, I could use a laugh today.
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:46 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
moss6886 From: moss6886 Date: August 12th, 2006 06:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Boo! Hiss! I should have seen that coming... *snigger*
speakr2customrs From: speakr2customrs Date: August 13th, 2006 04:47 am (UTC) (Link)
Heh!
54 comments or speak 2 me
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